I was invited to a Breast Cancer Survivor Luncheon. My nurse navigator was the one who extended the invitation and she's great so I really wanted to go. I invited one of my new cancer friends to come along.
When I arrived I checked in at the desk and was given a pink card with my name on it...this will come up later. I was escorted to my chair by one of the many UNR students there as volunteers. Then I walked through the vendors booths and saw some GREAT merchandise. There was also stage with the band's instruments and a staircase that was right at the middle of the stage leading to the dancefloor.
As the event began they had all the survivors line up behind a curtain and the MC introduced us and read our names and our survivorship length of time from the pink card as we each walked out to the band playing this awesome music as the escorts helped us down the stairs. My nurse navigator and my friend and I were the last ones to walk down the stairs and we did it together. But I had a blast with it. I took each escort by the hand and the last one who was on the dance floor, I did a little spin. It was SO fun.
One HUGE party. We ate a great lunch and chatted with the ladies at our tables. Our table was a blast. One of the ladies was hilarious! When they were giving away the door prizes they said, "This ticket is for a painted rock" The lady at my table said, "Well, I hope I win that. You can never have enough of those!" We all just busted up.
So after we ate the band starting playing and my ears were so JOYFUL!!! I was at the second table from the stage and the band hit the first two notes and I said, NO WAY!!! It was all 80s Funk Music. Be still my heart. I flipped OUT!!! I was dancing in my seat singing along to all my favorite music. The lead singer looked at me and I smiled really big and sang along with him and we both were waving our arms and pointing at each other. I swear, the only thing missing was a guy on the dance floor saying, "Wooah, Wooah! Party over here!!" SO 80s.
A lovely black lady walked up behind me and said, "Child, you better get on that dance floor" haha. I told her I would but I'm still too wobbly on my feet to do that yet. OR BELIEVE ME I'D HAVE BEEN OUT THERE!!!
I'm telling ya, if there's anything that could have brought me back to life it's 80s funk music. I have wonderful memories of dancing to all of it at Ricks College and at dance places in Salt Lake in the early to mid-80s. I still know all the lyrics...and since my hair started growing back I have my 80s style-Pat-Benatar-spiked-hair. Well, maybe a cross between Pat Benatar and Joan Jett.
That was it. No boring speaker. (yes, I said that) Just a great lunch, fun prizes, and TONS of dancing. Wooah! Wooah! Party over here!!!
The name of the event is Keeping the Faith. It's named after a news reporter from Oakland named Faith. It is sponsored by the Revivals Health and Wellness Council. I thought it was appropriate to go since I my sign-off is "Keep the Faith"
I'm so going next year. Anyone want to join me??
Keep the Faith
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Ninja Lymph Nodes
Does anyone know a good plastic surgeon??
It's time to really start looking at what my "options" are.
Last week I had my mastectomy surgery, or as my five year old puts it (skip if you are sensitive) I had my boob cut off. He wants to know if I get it back any time soon. Gosh, I hope not.
The surgery went well. I had a great team working on me. From the pre-op nurse to the General Surgery recovery floor nurses. With one exception but I'm not going to dwell on that. (my nurses were all great it was the anesthesiologist that was...less than cordial) My surgeon is hilarious. He talks twice as fast as you can listen, even when you aren't sedated, so his next-day visit in my hospital room was really funny. After I had general anesthesia, morphine and two pain pills he came and very quickly pointed at different spots with instructions for each area. I looked up at him and said, "Huh?" My nurse laughed and said she'd write everything down before I left.
When I woke up after surgery I noticed I wrapped VERY tightly with an Ace bandage. My right breast was practically touching my nose. (exaggeration) It really felt like a push-up ace bandage.
I have two drains still inserted on my left side about 6 inches below my armpit. It's like have an irritated sliver and no way to relieve it. It's just THERE. There's no comfort level for them, either. You can't sit a certain way or hold your arm a certain way to get any relief. My pain pills were making me sick and I thought at least one of the drains was going to be taken out yesterday at my follow-up appointment so I was just trying to power through. There's still too much fluid being drained so we're trying again for Monday. Knowing I had to wait that long I asked for different pains pills, he prescribed Percocet. They provided some much needed relief and much needed sleep.
He also told me a few details about my surgery. First, he couldn't find any of the tumor. This means the chemotherapy got rid of the entire thing. It was the size of a softball so that's saying a lot. He told me after the pathology was completed on the lymph nodes and the breast tissue that it was all cancer free. (yippee!!!) And the strangest thing he told me was that there was evidence in the nodes that I had previous bouts of cancer. There was scar tissue left behind. My good little ninja nodes had kicked those cancer cells' hineys at least twice before! He also put me on two antibiotics as there was evidence of an infection brewing. He said after chemo and being in a hospital with a bunch of sick people it's best to have that extra protection because I can't really fight off big infections right now. CLEARLY he didn't remember my ninja nodes, ok maybe they need some help.
I haven't had much appetite since the surgery so trying to find something that looks good and could taste good hasn't come together yet. I'm not allowed to "diet" to lose weight so I'm supposed to have high calorie foods to keep my body fed and happy so it can get better. Then he followed up with, "anything you can eat and keep down is good"
One last thing. My sweet friend Heidi K came to visit on Tuesday. She just got back from a month long trip to Zambia with the Mothers Without Borders group. Her stories will make you cry. She called me a little while after she left and offered to have her cleaning lady come help me with the house. Now, remember, we only moved in a month ago and there are half empty boxes all over the house. I haven't had the energy to get a lot done and I have even less now. So I told her I would love that and if she just could do the kitchen and bathrooms that would be great. Maria came yesterday at 2 and five hours later mopped her way out the front door. OH MY GOODNESS. I couldn't have accomplished in a month what she did in those 5 hours. She started with stripping the beds and did the entire house. She has an amazing talent for taking all the half empty boxes and organizing them in a manner that makes it look like you're going through them systematically. Which, of course, we are. So, if you are in need of a F A B U L O U S cleaning lady (and you live in Reno) let me know, I'll give you her number.
Well, it's time for another pain pill and I don't dare write while I'm under their influence.
I'm going to let my Ninja Nodes get some rest.
Keep the Faith
Monday, July 11, 2011
7/11 Free Slurpee Day....for some
It is true that an illness like cancer will test your faith. And just about every other emotion and thought you have. It does change your life, but mostly in ways you never imagined.
Personally, I've never been so sick and so blessed at the same time. One of my favorite blogs to read is "But Doctor I Hate Pink" (www.butdoctorihatepink.com). Ann describes side effects I'm too embarrassed to mention even though most cancer patients endure them. Truly, you don't want to know. She survived breast cancer and is now fighting liver cancer....ya, she's a fighter.
In the months I've been through chemotherapy and now heading into surgery, we have been abundantly cared for and loved by friends, family, church members, and total strangers. And I only tell you this because today I got to give back just a small portion of what was done for us. I debated telling this, and please understand I am not bragging. It just felt good to be able to give back.
Hannah needed an xray on her elbow that we thought she broke while we were moving. After the appointment and at the end of a very long day we stopped at a 7-11 for a free slurpee. It was about 4:30 in the afternoon. As I got out of the suburban with Ethan (5) I was approached by a young man who wanted to know if he could wash the windows on it in exchange for some food from the store. Not thinking I just said, "Oh, I think the windows are all right but thank you." Ethan and I went in and got our free slurpees. But I couldn't get that request out of my mind. It's different that he asked for food instead of money.
As we left the store he was still sitting on his bucket I asked if he had eaten anything that day. He said, "No". I told him to hang on, we'd get him somthing to eat. He looked surprised and told me thank you, that he had been yelled at all day. As I walked back in with him I told him to get whatever he wanted. (After all, how expensive can 7-11 get??) He ordered two steak tacquitos and I encouraged him to get something to drink and that he should at least get a cookie or some chips or an ice cream. He got an ice cream. While he was getting his food I noticed at least 20-25 more people come in the store for free slurpees and in the middle of all this noise I heard a little voice in my head start reciting the story of the Good Samaratin.
We walked out and he thanked me again. Said he was sorry. I told him not to be sorry and that in the last 8 months my family had been blessed so much by the many kindnesses from so many people that it felt right to do something for him. He smiled and sipped away at his drink.
Later tonight we got a call that Hannah's elbow is not broken....
Surgery is next week on the 19th. And I know that my family will be watched over and taken care of by family, friends, church members and total strangers, yet again.
Keep the Faith
Personally, I've never been so sick and so blessed at the same time. One of my favorite blogs to read is "But Doctor I Hate Pink" (www.butdoctorihatepink.com). Ann describes side effects I'm too embarrassed to mention even though most cancer patients endure them. Truly, you don't want to know. She survived breast cancer and is now fighting liver cancer....ya, she's a fighter.
In the months I've been through chemotherapy and now heading into surgery, we have been abundantly cared for and loved by friends, family, church members, and total strangers. And I only tell you this because today I got to give back just a small portion of what was done for us. I debated telling this, and please understand I am not bragging. It just felt good to be able to give back.
Hannah needed an xray on her elbow that we thought she broke while we were moving. After the appointment and at the end of a very long day we stopped at a 7-11 for a free slurpee. It was about 4:30 in the afternoon. As I got out of the suburban with Ethan (5) I was approached by a young man who wanted to know if he could wash the windows on it in exchange for some food from the store. Not thinking I just said, "Oh, I think the windows are all right but thank you." Ethan and I went in and got our free slurpees. But I couldn't get that request out of my mind. It's different that he asked for food instead of money.
As we left the store he was still sitting on his bucket I asked if he had eaten anything that day. He said, "No". I told him to hang on, we'd get him somthing to eat. He looked surprised and told me thank you, that he had been yelled at all day. As I walked back in with him I told him to get whatever he wanted. (After all, how expensive can 7-11 get??) He ordered two steak tacquitos and I encouraged him to get something to drink and that he should at least get a cookie or some chips or an ice cream. He got an ice cream. While he was getting his food I noticed at least 20-25 more people come in the store for free slurpees and in the middle of all this noise I heard a little voice in my head start reciting the story of the Good Samaratin.
We walked out and he thanked me again. Said he was sorry. I told him not to be sorry and that in the last 8 months my family had been blessed so much by the many kindnesses from so many people that it felt right to do something for him. He smiled and sipped away at his drink.
Later tonight we got a call that Hannah's elbow is not broken....
Surgery is next week on the 19th. And I know that my family will be watched over and taken care of by family, friends, church members and total strangers, yet again.
Keep the Faith
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Really, Keep the Faith
On June 3rd we received a letter from our property manager letting us know the owner was giving us 30 days notice to vacate the property. With an additional two weeks to clean and get the house ready for him to inspect it. The owner's timing couldn't have been better, or worse, depending on how you look at it.
My first reaction was it's going to be ok. He really gave us 45 days to go. I got on the computer almost immediately and starting looking for homes in our neighborhood and school districts. I found several and made appointments to go take a look...knowing full well none of them were going to work. But you have to put in due diligence. Damon and I drove around that evening looking at the homes and he decided he wanted to look around in our former neighborhood. We found a For Rent sign on one of the homes. I called immediately and left a message with the property manager so we could look at it. We set up a time to see it on Monday morning.
It really is the best house for our family.
But let me take you back to February 2010 when we reached the 18 month mark of unemployment for my husband. His field of expertise is aviation so you can imagine the scant availability of jobs, especially in Reno. He asked me to keep looking for jobs for myself as well (neither of us could find anything). I had a snotty attitude and got on a website (www.indeed.com) to look for jobs and I found one...for him. He hadn't seen the ad so he immediately applied for it and decided to wait two hours after sending his resume and called the number listed in the ad. The man who answered the phone said he'd received over 40 applications but Damon was the only one who called him. (Seriously???) He did two interviews over the phone and then didn't hear anything for a few days. Of course, we were on pins and needles waiting to hear.
A few weeks earlier I had signed up to help clean the kitchen in our church and the day had been delayed due to snow. My friend called and wanted to know if I was going. I thought, oh gosh, no, I don't think so and I hung up. Then I had this thought, "What if all that is left for Damon to get that job is for one of us to do some sort of service somewhere." So I called my friend back and said I'd meet her there. I think all of us ladies talked more than cleaned but it was a great two hours. I got home around 1pm and 20 minutes later Damon's phone rang and he was offered the job. No kidding.
Fast forward to this week. We've been waiting all week to find out if we got the house we had applied for. Early this afternoon I got a phone call from one of the leaders in our church's lady's auxiliary asking me to teach the lesson this coming Sunday. (It's on Developing Your Talents). I've really only been back to church for the last two weeks and didn't want to have to prepare and teach a lesson. I get very embarrassed with my chemo brain effects and can lose a train of thought so fast. I thought of all kinds of excuses. And told her no. When we hung up I immediately heard that VOICE say, "Don't you think I would help you?" We all have that still small voice and mine spoke loud and clear. So I called her back and told her I'd teach the lesson.
Ninety minutes later the new property manager called and let me know we got the house. Sound familiar??
Keep the Faith
My first reaction was it's going to be ok. He really gave us 45 days to go. I got on the computer almost immediately and starting looking for homes in our neighborhood and school districts. I found several and made appointments to go take a look...knowing full well none of them were going to work. But you have to put in due diligence. Damon and I drove around that evening looking at the homes and he decided he wanted to look around in our former neighborhood. We found a For Rent sign on one of the homes. I called immediately and left a message with the property manager so we could look at it. We set up a time to see it on Monday morning.
It really is the best house for our family.
But let me take you back to February 2010 when we reached the 18 month mark of unemployment for my husband. His field of expertise is aviation so you can imagine the scant availability of jobs, especially in Reno. He asked me to keep looking for jobs for myself as well (neither of us could find anything). I had a snotty attitude and got on a website (www.indeed.com) to look for jobs and I found one...for him. He hadn't seen the ad so he immediately applied for it and decided to wait two hours after sending his resume and called the number listed in the ad. The man who answered the phone said he'd received over 40 applications but Damon was the only one who called him. (Seriously???) He did two interviews over the phone and then didn't hear anything for a few days. Of course, we were on pins and needles waiting to hear.
A few weeks earlier I had signed up to help clean the kitchen in our church and the day had been delayed due to snow. My friend called and wanted to know if I was going. I thought, oh gosh, no, I don't think so and I hung up. Then I had this thought, "What if all that is left for Damon to get that job is for one of us to do some sort of service somewhere." So I called my friend back and said I'd meet her there. I think all of us ladies talked more than cleaned but it was a great two hours. I got home around 1pm and 20 minutes later Damon's phone rang and he was offered the job. No kidding.
Fast forward to this week. We've been waiting all week to find out if we got the house we had applied for. Early this afternoon I got a phone call from one of the leaders in our church's lady's auxiliary asking me to teach the lesson this coming Sunday. (It's on Developing Your Talents). I've really only been back to church for the last two weeks and didn't want to have to prepare and teach a lesson. I get very embarrassed with my chemo brain effects and can lose a train of thought so fast. I thought of all kinds of excuses. And told her no. When we hung up I immediately heard that VOICE say, "Don't you think I would help you?" We all have that still small voice and mine spoke loud and clear. So I called her back and told her I'd teach the lesson.
Ninety minutes later the new property manager called and let me know we got the house. Sound familiar??
Keep the Faith
Friday, May 27, 2011
How Good is the Remaining One?
We met with the surgeon this past week to find out what the options are. There really aren't any. He recommended a full mastectomy of the left side. I was hoping for a lumpectomy but he would have to remove too much tissue which would pretty much be a mastectomy anyway.
I didn't really hear much past the words "full mastectomy" so my husband had to repeat what was said. He had better questions than I did. Sometimes the brain goes blank when you get disappointing news.
Doctor tells me six months after radiation can start looking at reconstruction options. The plastic surgeon will match the other side. Ummm...I'd rather he did a better job than THAT! He'd have to be a pretty bad surgeon to MATCH that one. When things like that are mentioned my mind goes to the scene from Shallow Hal. He's asked if he'd rather date a girl with half a brain or one breast. He pauses and asks, "How good is the remaining breast?"
After sleeping on that news, I realized the next morning that I'm more upset about losing my hair, my eyelashes, and my fingernails than I am about losing a breast. We are such vain beings. Well, maybe it's just me.
My hair is growing back. It's still very short. Like a really short buzz cut. And the patches of gray look like bald spots. I've been told it comes back curly at first...but mine is growing straight out of my head. No curl. My mother used to tell me a poem when I was little...."There once was a girl, who had a curl, right in the middle of her forehead, When she was good, She was very very good, But when she was bad, She was horrid." So I guess if I don't have a curl I'm not horrid....??
I have six weeks to build up strength for the surgery. I've been walking 20 minutes a day. Which is really about all I can do. Amazing how fast you can get out of shape. Damon and I were up to 4 miles last summer. I'm lucky to go around the big block in my neighborhood. There is a tree on the Steamboat Trail. It's a very large pine tree and the only one like it. When we first started walking last year it was my goal to get to that tree. We passed it by 2 miles last year...it will be my goal to get there again.
I'm impatient to be over all of this. I want it done and out of the way so I can get back to my life.
Keep the Faith
I didn't really hear much past the words "full mastectomy" so my husband had to repeat what was said. He had better questions than I did. Sometimes the brain goes blank when you get disappointing news.
Doctor tells me six months after radiation can start looking at reconstruction options. The plastic surgeon will match the other side. Ummm...I'd rather he did a better job than THAT! He'd have to be a pretty bad surgeon to MATCH that one. When things like that are mentioned my mind goes to the scene from Shallow Hal. He's asked if he'd rather date a girl with half a brain or one breast. He pauses and asks, "How good is the remaining breast?"
After sleeping on that news, I realized the next morning that I'm more upset about losing my hair, my eyelashes, and my fingernails than I am about losing a breast. We are such vain beings. Well, maybe it's just me.
My hair is growing back. It's still very short. Like a really short buzz cut. And the patches of gray look like bald spots. I've been told it comes back curly at first...but mine is growing straight out of my head. No curl. My mother used to tell me a poem when I was little...."There once was a girl, who had a curl, right in the middle of her forehead, When she was good, She was very very good, But when she was bad, She was horrid." So I guess if I don't have a curl I'm not horrid....??
I have six weeks to build up strength for the surgery. I've been walking 20 minutes a day. Which is really about all I can do. Amazing how fast you can get out of shape. Damon and I were up to 4 miles last summer. I'm lucky to go around the big block in my neighborhood. There is a tree on the Steamboat Trail. It's a very large pine tree and the only one like it. When we first started walking last year it was my goal to get to that tree. We passed it by 2 miles last year...it will be my goal to get there again.
I'm impatient to be over all of this. I want it done and out of the way so I can get back to my life.
Keep the Faith
Saturday, May 14, 2011
15/16 equals 100%
This week 15/16 equals 100%. Because I have completed 15 of 16 chemotherapy treatments and I am 100% done with it.
A week ago I went in for my third FEC chemotherapy (add that to the 12 Taxols and you get 15). My doctor had ordered a chem panel to check my system functions and make sure everything was working all right. My blood sugar came back at 297. ?!?!? My nurse, Rosa, told me it's from the steroids in the premeds. I had no idea steroids could do that to blood sugar. Over the weekend it went up to 417. By Monday my oncologist had me on diabetic medications to bring it down. Today is a week later and my morning finger stick was 189. Still too high, but it's getting lower.
I spent a good hour on Friday with an internist and he chose not to put me on insulin simply because I'm not taking the steroid anymore. However I got quite an education (yet again) on the meds I've been taking.
He explained that the steroid I've been taking, virtually every week since December, is the strongest they can prescribe. And the dose amount is equal to 400mg of prednisone. For those of you that I told it was the same as 200mg...I looked up my meds and they have been giving me 20mg of decadron...not 10.
My nurse also explained that the FEC has a cumulative effect so the more treatments you get the worse the reaction. Well, let me just say she's right. I'm finally beginning to coming out of the fog and told my oncologist this week there won't be another FEC treatment. He agreed, but it doesn't matter if he agreed or not...I'm not doing it.
His reasoning was that I have responded so well to the treatment that it would be ok to miss the last one. Not only that, we still have surgery and radiation to get whatever is left...if there's anything left.
My husband's sister, Cindy Reid, has been a great source of information and inspiration. She is recovering from leukemia treatments that included a bone marrow transplant. We had similar drugs and she was able to shed some light on reactions from some of them. That really awful one (epirubucin) she received in two different forms but referred to them as the "bitch sisters". Amen....and I only got one of them.
In every awful experience there are good moments. That is the true blessing in this life. In every disaster there are miracle survival stories. People come together in tragedies. I believe this is one of the purposes of life. To find the good in the bad and dwell on that.
My daughter is giving a talk in church tomorrow. Her topic is "God is not a respecter of persons". In other words, He does not favor one above another. It's just that sometimes we wish He would, huh? However, I am somewhat happy that my trials are tailored to me...I have been given the tools I need to deal with them.
And so the march goes on. Once the blood sugars are under control we will start the next step in curing me.
Keep the Faith.
P.S.
Thank you to Lynette Guarino for the beautiful flowers she sent, again! And thank you to Sharon Cocanour for the adorable lemonade mug. It's bright pink and says BFF on it. "Beautiful Fabulous Friend" :-) And thank you to all of you who pray for me and my family and have brought meals and treats and given my kids rides and me too for that matter... (Francine, Jackie, Sherry, Shelly, Tamra, Renee, Jennifer B, Mary, Heidi, Cece....Mom and Dad....)
A week ago I went in for my third FEC chemotherapy (add that to the 12 Taxols and you get 15). My doctor had ordered a chem panel to check my system functions and make sure everything was working all right. My blood sugar came back at 297. ?!?!? My nurse, Rosa, told me it's from the steroids in the premeds. I had no idea steroids could do that to blood sugar. Over the weekend it went up to 417. By Monday my oncologist had me on diabetic medications to bring it down. Today is a week later and my morning finger stick was 189. Still too high, but it's getting lower.
I spent a good hour on Friday with an internist and he chose not to put me on insulin simply because I'm not taking the steroid anymore. However I got quite an education (yet again) on the meds I've been taking.
He explained that the steroid I've been taking, virtually every week since December, is the strongest they can prescribe. And the dose amount is equal to 400mg of prednisone. For those of you that I told it was the same as 200mg...I looked up my meds and they have been giving me 20mg of decadron...not 10.
My nurse also explained that the FEC has a cumulative effect so the more treatments you get the worse the reaction. Well, let me just say she's right. I'm finally beginning to coming out of the fog and told my oncologist this week there won't be another FEC treatment. He agreed, but it doesn't matter if he agreed or not...I'm not doing it.
His reasoning was that I have responded so well to the treatment that it would be ok to miss the last one. Not only that, we still have surgery and radiation to get whatever is left...if there's anything left.
My husband's sister, Cindy Reid, has been a great source of information and inspiration. She is recovering from leukemia treatments that included a bone marrow transplant. We had similar drugs and she was able to shed some light on reactions from some of them. That really awful one (epirubucin) she received in two different forms but referred to them as the "bitch sisters". Amen....and I only got one of them.
In every awful experience there are good moments. That is the true blessing in this life. In every disaster there are miracle survival stories. People come together in tragedies. I believe this is one of the purposes of life. To find the good in the bad and dwell on that.
My daughter is giving a talk in church tomorrow. Her topic is "God is not a respecter of persons". In other words, He does not favor one above another. It's just that sometimes we wish He would, huh? However, I am somewhat happy that my trials are tailored to me...I have been given the tools I need to deal with them.
And so the march goes on. Once the blood sugars are under control we will start the next step in curing me.
Keep the Faith.
P.S.
Thank you to Lynette Guarino for the beautiful flowers she sent, again! And thank you to Sharon Cocanour for the adorable lemonade mug. It's bright pink and says BFF on it. "Beautiful Fabulous Friend" :-) And thank you to all of you who pray for me and my family and have brought meals and treats and given my kids rides and me too for that matter... (Francine, Jackie, Sherry, Shelly, Tamra, Renee, Jennifer B, Mary, Heidi, Cece....Mom and Dad....)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
And This One Was Even More Different
So treatment three weeks ago brought on massive food cravings. This time it's all I can do to get anything down. I'm not nauseated, I just don't have much of an appetite. I did realize I was craving sweet drinks. Not soda, but juice. Sent the kids to the store for lemonade, orange juice, apple juice, grape juice, etc. I'm having trouble swallowing and everything gets stuck in my chest. I'll talk to the doctor about that today. Last night it was a milkshake and soup for dinner. :-)
My grandmother was born in Susanville, CA in 1922. At the age of 9 she contracted polio from the river there. I grew up with a grandmother on crutches who had a lot of joint pain. She passed away a few years ago. But this week I have found I'm remembering the ways she got around. Different things she would lean on, or pull on to get mobile. I've found myself copying her a lot this week. My knees started aching last night and this morning I'm just kinda of feeling the chemo meds. I think it takes about a week for them to hit me.
At my last doctor appointment he mentioned that I'm on some pretty heavy duty chemotherapy but I'm "responding exceptionally well". That's encouraging. I'm happy that this poison is working to kill the cancer.
This whole thing seems to be a year of recovery. Get a dose of chemo...recover. Get another...recover. Surgery in June...recover. Radiation in July...recover.
But really, we all do that. We all face challenges and then we recover. Face the next one and .... recover!
Like my friend Mary says, "Wear it well, and keep going"
Keep the Faith
My grandmother was born in Susanville, CA in 1922. At the age of 9 she contracted polio from the river there. I grew up with a grandmother on crutches who had a lot of joint pain. She passed away a few years ago. But this week I have found I'm remembering the ways she got around. Different things she would lean on, or pull on to get mobile. I've found myself copying her a lot this week. My knees started aching last night and this morning I'm just kinda of feeling the chemo meds. I think it takes about a week for them to hit me.
At my last doctor appointment he mentioned that I'm on some pretty heavy duty chemotherapy but I'm "responding exceptionally well". That's encouraging. I'm happy that this poison is working to kill the cancer.
This whole thing seems to be a year of recovery. Get a dose of chemo...recover. Get another...recover. Surgery in June...recover. Radiation in July...recover.
But really, we all do that. We all face challenges and then we recover. Face the next one and .... recover!
Like my friend Mary says, "Wear it well, and keep going"
Keep the Faith
Thursday, March 31, 2011
This One is Really Different
Now that I am about 6 days into the treatment I've found that this drug effects me completely differently. This one just really wipes me out. I have more brain fog and have a harder time following conversations and such.
I received the infusion last Friday and today is Thursday. I'm still exhausted. Although last night I actually slept through the night. First time in a very long time.
The strangest side effect from this treatment is the food cravings. I gained 20 pounds from the taxol treatments and now, no matter WHAT I eat, I'm dropping weight very fast. In just a few days I've lost 12. However, I don't really recommend this diet. :-D
My wonderful Nurse Navigator, Bobbi, called me today. I ran these food cravings past her and she laughed. Told me to go ahead and indulge them. OK!!! I have craved rootbeer floats (for those of you on FB you've seen my messages) and I don't really even like rootbeer. Seven in one day is a craving, right? haha. Then today it's fish tacos. I've never had a fish taco that I can recall. But I called a friend to take me to the grocery store to get the fish, the cole slaw and the pita bread. And yes, I'll be the only one in the house eating them.
Last night a lovely lady from our church brought dinner. It was beef stew with a big loaf of crusty french bread and rootbeer! I totally stuffed myself and it tasted so good. My husband has pointed out that I'm craving savory foods. Comfort kind. My Dad took me to lunch at Swensen's after my doctor appointment on Tuesday and I had a patty melt with fries and ranch dressing and a rootbeer float. Gooey and savory.
My doctor says the wiped out feeling should start to improve around Sunday and that next week I should feel better. The following week is supposed to be the "good" week until they dose me again on the 15th.
I did get the Neulasta shot on Saturday which boosts white blood cells. The side effect of that is achey bones that are flu like symptoms. I've been blessed to not have nausea or achey bones. Just super super tired.
I just have to say THANK YOU again to all of my beautiful friends. My amazing neighbor had our little guy most of the day yesterday. He loved it and even got to have a glass of grape juice! His favorite. He got to spend time with the kids outside and played like a little boy should. My older kids cleaned the kitchen. I got to sleep, which I desperately needed. My husband got a break from making dinner. It was a gorgeous, warm day. What else can I say?
Keep the Faith.
I received the infusion last Friday and today is Thursday. I'm still exhausted. Although last night I actually slept through the night. First time in a very long time.
The strangest side effect from this treatment is the food cravings. I gained 20 pounds from the taxol treatments and now, no matter WHAT I eat, I'm dropping weight very fast. In just a few days I've lost 12. However, I don't really recommend this diet. :-D
My wonderful Nurse Navigator, Bobbi, called me today. I ran these food cravings past her and she laughed. Told me to go ahead and indulge them. OK!!! I have craved rootbeer floats (for those of you on FB you've seen my messages) and I don't really even like rootbeer. Seven in one day is a craving, right? haha. Then today it's fish tacos. I've never had a fish taco that I can recall. But I called a friend to take me to the grocery store to get the fish, the cole slaw and the pita bread. And yes, I'll be the only one in the house eating them.
Last night a lovely lady from our church brought dinner. It was beef stew with a big loaf of crusty french bread and rootbeer! I totally stuffed myself and it tasted so good. My husband has pointed out that I'm craving savory foods. Comfort kind. My Dad took me to lunch at Swensen's after my doctor appointment on Tuesday and I had a patty melt with fries and ranch dressing and a rootbeer float. Gooey and savory.
My doctor says the wiped out feeling should start to improve around Sunday and that next week I should feel better. The following week is supposed to be the "good" week until they dose me again on the 15th.
I did get the Neulasta shot on Saturday which boosts white blood cells. The side effect of that is achey bones that are flu like symptoms. I've been blessed to not have nausea or achey bones. Just super super tired.
I just have to say THANK YOU again to all of my beautiful friends. My amazing neighbor had our little guy most of the day yesterday. He loved it and even got to have a glass of grape juice! His favorite. He got to spend time with the kids outside and played like a little boy should. My older kids cleaned the kitchen. I got to sleep, which I desperately needed. My husband got a break from making dinner. It was a gorgeous, warm day. What else can I say?
Keep the Faith.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Whew. Not as Bad as I Expected
One treatment down, three to go.
This is a round of new drugs.
The first is 5-FU (perfect name for chemotherapy...exactly how I feel :-)) This one is given through the infusion stand from a syringe and is very quick.
The second is Epirubicin. It's given as an IV push. It's so toxic the nurse has to administer it herself and not through the infusionator. There are two LARGE syringes about half full of the drug and the drug is dyed red. (side note: I pee orange for 3 days.) The nurse hooks it up to one of the ports and sits there pushing the plunger on the syringe so it goes into the IV. This drug is so toxic that if it breaks through the vein or leaks from the port it will begin to destroy tissue and it doesn't stop. Nothing they can do either. Yet it doesn't destroy the vein it goes into.... (we are interesting creations aren't we?) She also has to do what is called a blood draw every few minutes. All she does is pull the plunger on the syringe back to make sure there is full blood flow in the tubing through the port implanted in my chest.
The third is Cytoxan. This one is a regular infusion and takes about a half hour. It's also very toxic and is the drug that can make me very nauseous.
Here's the beauty part. Well, at least this was good information. My nurse has been in Oncology for 27 years. She was telling me that back then when she gave the Epirubicin the first thing she would do is give her patient a bucket. For them to throw up in....as she did the epirubicin push. It made people THAT sick, THAT fast.
She went on to tell me that my doctor doubled all my anti-nausea premeds and added Emend and she feels I will have no problem at all as long as I stick to the protocols.
My nurse, Rosa, tells me to drink 2 quarts of water every day for three days following the treatment. Due to the toxicity of the chemo drugs they can cause hemorrhagic cystitis...or big old bladder cysts. So she chants to me "Drink and Pee. Drink and Pee" It reminded me of Bee Movie "Thinking Bee. Thinking Bee."
I am drinking lots of water. I even have to get up in the middle of the night to pee and must set my alarm to do it or I could have serious complications. Drink 2 quarts of water and pee every two hours. Drink and Pee. Drink and Pee.
With this treatment my blood counts will drop and I am very susceptible to infections or illnesses. If I have a hot flash I have to take my temperature. I'll never keep up. I have a hot flash every 20 minutes. No joke. Of course my daughter comes home with a sore throat today. I will miss her. haha. I'm kidding. She's quarantined to her room for the weekend. Or maybe I should be. But if I quarantine her maybe she'll get SO bored she'll clean her room?!?
I am so grateful for all the good wishes and prayers that have come our way. My mother's housekeeper told her she lit a candle for me. This is very touching. Those aren't free and I've never met her. It reminded me of that song, "One Little Candle" ....'and if everyone lit just one little candle, what a bright world this would be.'
I've had some wonderfully spiritual experiences through this. Some true epiphanies and some very simple sweet moments. All of it has made me grow. I've had to learn new things and honestly it's an education I never wanted. I think we are all connected in ways we aren't even aware of. It's a small world and every challenge makes it smaller because you find those who have gone before you who are turning back to help you down that same road. I raise my water bottle and thank those who have blazed the trail.
Drink and Pee.
Light a Candle.
Keep the Faith.
This is a round of new drugs.
The first is 5-FU (perfect name for chemotherapy...exactly how I feel :-)) This one is given through the infusion stand from a syringe and is very quick.
The second is Epirubicin. It's given as an IV push. It's so toxic the nurse has to administer it herself and not through the infusionator. There are two LARGE syringes about half full of the drug and the drug is dyed red. (side note: I pee orange for 3 days.) The nurse hooks it up to one of the ports and sits there pushing the plunger on the syringe so it goes into the IV. This drug is so toxic that if it breaks through the vein or leaks from the port it will begin to destroy tissue and it doesn't stop. Nothing they can do either. Yet it doesn't destroy the vein it goes into.... (we are interesting creations aren't we?) She also has to do what is called a blood draw every few minutes. All she does is pull the plunger on the syringe back to make sure there is full blood flow in the tubing through the port implanted in my chest.
The third is Cytoxan. This one is a regular infusion and takes about a half hour. It's also very toxic and is the drug that can make me very nauseous.
Here's the beauty part. Well, at least this was good information. My nurse has been in Oncology for 27 years. She was telling me that back then when she gave the Epirubicin the first thing she would do is give her patient a bucket. For them to throw up in....as she did the epirubicin push. It made people THAT sick, THAT fast.
She went on to tell me that my doctor doubled all my anti-nausea premeds and added Emend and she feels I will have no problem at all as long as I stick to the protocols.
My nurse, Rosa, tells me to drink 2 quarts of water every day for three days following the treatment. Due to the toxicity of the chemo drugs they can cause hemorrhagic cystitis...or big old bladder cysts. So she chants to me "Drink and Pee. Drink and Pee" It reminded me of Bee Movie "Thinking Bee. Thinking Bee."
I am drinking lots of water. I even have to get up in the middle of the night to pee and must set my alarm to do it or I could have serious complications. Drink 2 quarts of water and pee every two hours. Drink and Pee. Drink and Pee.
With this treatment my blood counts will drop and I am very susceptible to infections or illnesses. If I have a hot flash I have to take my temperature. I'll never keep up. I have a hot flash every 20 minutes. No joke. Of course my daughter comes home with a sore throat today. I will miss her. haha. I'm kidding. She's quarantined to her room for the weekend. Or maybe I should be. But if I quarantine her maybe she'll get SO bored she'll clean her room?!?
I am so grateful for all the good wishes and prayers that have come our way. My mother's housekeeper told her she lit a candle for me. This is very touching. Those aren't free and I've never met her. It reminded me of that song, "One Little Candle" ....'and if everyone lit just one little candle, what a bright world this would be.'
I've had some wonderfully spiritual experiences through this. Some true epiphanies and some very simple sweet moments. All of it has made me grow. I've had to learn new things and honestly it's an education I never wanted. I think we are all connected in ways we aren't even aware of. It's a small world and every challenge makes it smaller because you find those who have gone before you who are turning back to help you down that same road. I raise my water bottle and thank those who have blazed the trail.
Drink and Pee.
Light a Candle.
Keep the Faith.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Got a Break
Two weeks ago at my pre-chemotherapy doctor visit, my doctor offered to let me have a week off of treatment. He told me I have responded so well to the Taxol that one week off would not be a detriment to my overall treatment. At first I told him no, I'll keep going. However I realized the day after the next chemotherapy was our daughter's first high school prom. I really wanted to be able to be involved in that day. It takes all day to get ready!!
I called my doctor and spoke with the nurses about taking him up on that break. They felt I would be too sick and fatigued to really enjoy that it and encouraged me to take the it off. So I did.
What a great day it was! She got her hair done at a salon. She borrowed a shrug from her friend, Leslie. (Thanks Leslie) and then spent a few hours relaxing and playing with makeup ideas.
There were six couples in her prom group and they were all to meet at a friend's house for pre-prom festivities and photos. Of course, all the other parents were there too. It was very fun. The dresses were gorgeous and the girls all looked so elegant. The boys were very handsome. We must have all taken dozens of photos of the group and individual couples.
They left for dinner and then on to the prom. I have heard the dancing can be quite questionable and it was a concern for the whole group. They chose to stay on the outskirts of the large group and were able to escape the grinding.
After the dance they all went to one of the boy's homes and had pancakes. She was home by 12:30.
I'm so glad I didn't have to miss out. I was a big worn out from doing the running around but that's just fine. It was worth it.
This week is when it all starts over again.
Friday I start the FEC treatment and I have four of those three weeks apart. The last one on May 27th. FEC is the name of the 3 drugs I will be getting. The "F" is from 5-FU (such an appropriate name!). The "E" is epirubicin. This one can cause irreversible congestive heart failure so last week I had an echocardiogram to get a baseline. I already have moderate regurgitation in the mitral valve left over from the CHF I had 6 years ago....then had a baby. SO THERE! You can't get me, man. haha. The "C" is for Cytoxan. It's just plain nasty.
These drugs are MUCH different than what I have been getting. These drop my blood counts, cause nausea and if I don't pee every 2 hours for the first 72 hours cysts can develop in my bladder. I don't know what's worse the cancer or the treatment.
I also have to go back the next morning for a shot of neulasta. This drug boosts the white blood count and from what I have heard makes you feel like you have the flu.
There are many premeds involved that prevent nausea. The first is Emend. A pill I will take one hour before treatment then one a day for two days following. Plus they have given me two other prescriptions for anti-nausea drugs. Then there are a few more that are given through the port in my chest before the actual chemotherapy drugs are started.
I asked a fellow cancer patient who has already had these drugs, how the FEC nausea compares to pregnancy nausea. She said it's about the same. I only had nausea with one of our four kids. But is was ALL day EVERY day for the first trimester.
While the Taxol side effects will eventually go away, the new side effects will be different. I'm hoping the chemo brain fog will go away as well. I have a short attention span to begin with. It's why I hated school. But this is totally different. It's almost like having no short term memory. You can lose a train of thought mid-stream and truly not know how you got to another room in the house, or why you went there. I know as we get into our 40s this type of thing happens, and I have had it happen before the treatment...but there seems to be this dark fog that comes along with it that I didn't have before.
I'm blessed with friends who are Yellow (see The Color Code link), so conversations with them are a joy. They can jump from topic to topic mid sentence right along with me and never skip a beat. I love that. You know who you are...Sharon. Mary. My very Yellow friends.
Even though I am nervous about this next round, I know I am blessed with many prayers being said on my behalf. I couldn't get through this without them. On more than one occasion I have felt Heavenly Father boosting me up. The only way out is through it.
Keep the Faith.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Been a While
It's been a while since I've written anything. I think it has to do with entering that phase of chemo brain fog when you can't really think very well.
There is one more session of the Taxol treatment and then we move on to the "fun" one. This next session is every three weeks and from what I've heard...pretty nasty.
I've been approved to receive Emend as a pre and post med for nausea. Grateful for that.
The Taxol has taken it's toll. I have a lot of muscle fatigue that used to just last through Monday and Tuesday. But now it seems to go all week. Sometimes the aches will wake me up around 3 in the morning. Thankful for Netflix. I have a nasty rash on the back of my hands that is now starting to peel.
No hair. um... no hair.
I have managed to keep my eyelashes and eyebrows....so far...but it's not likely through the next session. And after losing 50 pounds last year...I've gained 15 from the massive doses of steroids I get as a premed. (rolls eyes). I have no doubt that it will come off fast after the chemo.
There are still many blessings coming our way. The support and encouragement of so many friends and family. Sweet phone calls. Emails. Texts. Facebook postings. mysterious treats left at the front door. Not-so-mysterious gifts left at the front door. Etc.
Access to Healthcare Network provides 20 hours of free housekeeping and the wonderful lady is here today cleaning our kitchen. She's one of those tiny women who's like a cleaning tornado. I love those. Reminds me of my grandmother.
Can't really think of anything else to say. Just hunkering down for the next onslaught of chemotherapy.
Oh ya...and losing an hour of sleep thanks to Daylight Savings....
Keep the Faith.
There is one more session of the Taxol treatment and then we move on to the "fun" one. This next session is every three weeks and from what I've heard...pretty nasty.
I've been approved to receive Emend as a pre and post med for nausea. Grateful for that.
The Taxol has taken it's toll. I have a lot of muscle fatigue that used to just last through Monday and Tuesday. But now it seems to go all week. Sometimes the aches will wake me up around 3 in the morning. Thankful for Netflix. I have a nasty rash on the back of my hands that is now starting to peel.
No hair. um... no hair.
I have managed to keep my eyelashes and eyebrows....so far...but it's not likely through the next session. And after losing 50 pounds last year...I've gained 15 from the massive doses of steroids I get as a premed. (rolls eyes). I have no doubt that it will come off fast after the chemo.
There are still many blessings coming our way. The support and encouragement of so many friends and family. Sweet phone calls. Emails. Texts. Facebook postings. mysterious treats left at the front door. Not-so-mysterious gifts left at the front door. Etc.
Access to Healthcare Network provides 20 hours of free housekeeping and the wonderful lady is here today cleaning our kitchen. She's one of those tiny women who's like a cleaning tornado. I love those. Reminds me of my grandmother.
Can't really think of anything else to say. Just hunkering down for the next onslaught of chemotherapy.
Oh ya...and losing an hour of sleep thanks to Daylight Savings....
Keep the Faith.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Good News is Good News
I've written about Access to Healthcare Network before on my blog, but I have more to write about.
Truly, if you are someone who does not have insurance this is the plan for you. There are income guidelines and a few other qualifications to meet, but man, I'm telling ya....it has saved our hineys.
Last Friday during my chemotherapy infusion I got a call from my Care Coordinator, let's call her Nancy. She was calling to offer me the $2,000 grant she secured from the Susan G Komen Foundation towards my treatment. I about fell out of the chemo chair. What insurance company would call you with that information? "Lisa, we know you've been worried about paying for your treatment so we went ahead and secured this grant for you."
I was thinking that I start the icky round of chemotherapy on March 18 (Not that this has been a party, but the worse one is next) so I would use some of that grant to pay for that next round. Well, I also found out that since there is no break in the treatment, I go from the weekly to the every-three-weeks-treatment with no break, and since I've already paid up to the cap on my chemotherapy, I DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR THE NEXT SET!!! This means that grant money can be used for the weekly doctor appointments or the upcoming surgery or radiation. Wow.
We also had to start with a new Primary Care Physician since ours retired in October and he wasn't on the list anyway. He did recommend a doctor who was on the list with Access to Healthcare, so we decided to go ahead with the new doctor. My husband saw him on Monday. And Access to Healthcare has funding to pay for the first appointment with the new doctor so that was $60 we didn't have to come up with.
In the mail yesterday we got a little postcard. The front says, "Nothing says I Love You like a free colon screening" hahahaha. On the back it tells me that Access to Healthcare has received grant funding to offer me or a loved on a free colon screening. Well, Happy Valentine's Day, honey. You can be the loved one!!
Keep the Faith.
Truly, if you are someone who does not have insurance this is the plan for you. There are income guidelines and a few other qualifications to meet, but man, I'm telling ya....it has saved our hineys.
Last Friday during my chemotherapy infusion I got a call from my Care Coordinator, let's call her Nancy. She was calling to offer me the $2,000 grant she secured from the Susan G Komen Foundation towards my treatment. I about fell out of the chemo chair. What insurance company would call you with that information? "Lisa, we know you've been worried about paying for your treatment so we went ahead and secured this grant for you."
I was thinking that I start the icky round of chemotherapy on March 18 (Not that this has been a party, but the worse one is next) so I would use some of that grant to pay for that next round. Well, I also found out that since there is no break in the treatment, I go from the weekly to the every-three-weeks-treatment with no break, and since I've already paid up to the cap on my chemotherapy, I DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR THE NEXT SET!!! This means that grant money can be used for the weekly doctor appointments or the upcoming surgery or radiation. Wow.
We also had to start with a new Primary Care Physician since ours retired in October and he wasn't on the list anyway. He did recommend a doctor who was on the list with Access to Healthcare, so we decided to go ahead with the new doctor. My husband saw him on Monday. And Access to Healthcare has funding to pay for the first appointment with the new doctor so that was $60 we didn't have to come up with.
In the mail yesterday we got a little postcard. The front says, "Nothing says I Love You like a free colon screening" hahahaha. On the back it tells me that Access to Healthcare has received grant funding to offer me or a loved on a free colon screening. Well, Happy Valentine's Day, honey. You can be the loved one!!
Keep the Faith.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Gray Hair Will Rule the World.
My husband shaved my head about 5 weeks ago after a week of my hair falling out. I had (have) very dark brown hair and was left with stubble. Now the stubble has continued falling out and I'm left with just the gray stubble. The gray stubble is GROWING. How can one lose one's hair and still have GRAY STUBBLE??? I feel like it's the cockroach of the hair world. Nuke it and it survives.
I'm coming up on my 8th of 12 weekly chemotherapy sessions. And I'm feeling the effects. The neuropathy in my thumbs is a bit buggy, but it's not too bad. Every once in a while it will hit in my forefingers too. And when I'm really tired I'll feel it in my left foot. I'm getting what look like red freckles on my hands and arms. And I don't mean read-head kind of freckles. Actual RED spots. like R E D. They flake off though and I'm told it's a side-effect of the taxol.
Yesterday we attended the International Networking Week event that I wrote about. It was fantastic. Jordan Adler did a great presentation and we came away with new ideas and wonderful inspiration for moving on and up in our SendOutCards business. That lovely shot in the arm that feeds your soul.
Thanks to the Executive Director with BNI, Willeta Christensen, we all had dinner together the Tuesday night before the event. We had a great time. The two local presenters, Molly Geil and OC Gillham also came to dinner. It was such a nice evening.
So, even though these treatments are becoming a dreaded part of the week, I felt well enough to attend some wonderful events this week and get my pitcher filled.
Here's a fun story:
I read Jordan Adler's book last year before we thought of inviting him to speak at our event. There is a chapter in the book about writing the story of your life. You write in a journal or notebook about your dream life as if you are living it NOW. Understand? You imagine your dream life...where do you live, what car do you drive? What is your family like? And you write it like your are living it TODAY.
So I got out a journal and started writing. I have a vivid imagination so it was easy for me. But like most projects I start, I got sidetracked and busy and set the journal aside. That was last October. Jordan spoke about that chapter in his book at our event yesterday. This morning I remembered my journal so I found it and started reading what I wrote.
On the third page I wrote this: "Just got back from having dinner with Jordan. We had a wonderful visit and a it was great to get a little coaching"
That's exactly what happened Tuesday night. Incredible.
So, if you'll excuse me...I have more writing to do....
Keep the Faith!
I'm coming up on my 8th of 12 weekly chemotherapy sessions. And I'm feeling the effects. The neuropathy in my thumbs is a bit buggy, but it's not too bad. Every once in a while it will hit in my forefingers too. And when I'm really tired I'll feel it in my left foot. I'm getting what look like red freckles on my hands and arms. And I don't mean read-head kind of freckles. Actual RED spots. like R E D. They flake off though and I'm told it's a side-effect of the taxol.
Yesterday we attended the International Networking Week event that I wrote about. It was fantastic. Jordan Adler did a great presentation and we came away with new ideas and wonderful inspiration for moving on and up in our SendOutCards business. That lovely shot in the arm that feeds your soul.
Thanks to the Executive Director with BNI, Willeta Christensen, we all had dinner together the Tuesday night before the event. We had a great time. The two local presenters, Molly Geil and OC Gillham also came to dinner. It was such a nice evening.
So, even though these treatments are becoming a dreaded part of the week, I felt well enough to attend some wonderful events this week and get my pitcher filled.
Here's a fun story:
I read Jordan Adler's book last year before we thought of inviting him to speak at our event. There is a chapter in the book about writing the story of your life. You write in a journal or notebook about your dream life as if you are living it NOW. Understand? You imagine your dream life...where do you live, what car do you drive? What is your family like? And you write it like your are living it TODAY.
So I got out a journal and started writing. I have a vivid imagination so it was easy for me. But like most projects I start, I got sidetracked and busy and set the journal aside. That was last October. Jordan spoke about that chapter in his book at our event yesterday. This morning I remembered my journal so I found it and started reading what I wrote.
On the third page I wrote this: "Just got back from having dinner with Jordan. We had a wonderful visit and a it was great to get a little coaching"
That's exactly what happened Tuesday night. Incredible.
So, if you'll excuse me...I have more writing to do....
Keep the Faith!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
If You're Going Through Hell....
I love this little placque from Tamra Murphy. It says so much.
One of my favorite blogs is from T. Harv Eker. He posts the most positive things every day. This is something he would put on his blog. I may suggest it.
Thank you Tamra. I love this.
Keep the Faith
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Stay Out There!
This week is my halfway point for the six of 12 chemotherapy treatments. And I'm feelin' the poison. It's oozed into my bones and about two days after the chemo they ache like a son-of-a-gun.
This last chemo went a big better than the one before it. However, I did react to the taxol again just not as severely. They say you react within the first half hour. Me? Right at 25 minutes. BING! Can't breathe and the back pain started. Although this time around it wasn't as bad because they weren't giving me the full dose. The drip was started verrryyy slowly so not much was onboard when the reaction started. That also means when they re-start it, there's even less going in. It took 4 1/2 hours to do a 90 minute infusion. I got there at 10:30am and didn't leave until 5:30pm. That's a long day. Kinda boring too. I'm only dangerous when I'm bored...
So I have to say, when you get stuck like that the opportunity to get out and see people on other days has a lot of appeal. If you have the chance to socialize you must do it. Especially if you enjoy people. It will refill your cup. Energize you. Help get you through the long days. Life goes on, man.
That's why I'm so looking forward to International Networking Week. It's the 5th time it's being presented and the speakers are phenomenal people. Two are from Reno so chances are you'll see them at other events. The keynote speaker, Jordan Adler, is the author of "Beach Money". Copies of his book will be available and he doesn't make ANY money on the book. All proceeds go to Kiva.org. Kiva provides micro-loans to entrepreneurs in developing countries.
This event is Wednesday, February 9, 2011 from 7:30am-10:30am at the Atlantis Resort in Reno, Nevada. Tickets are $25 now and $30 at the door. Breakfast is included. Sponsor tables are available for $125 and include two tickets to the event.
See You There!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Look Good, Feel Better
There is wonderful program that the Bellissima Salon owner, Alan Squailia, runs that is specifically for cancer patients. Not just breast cancer, ANY kind. It's called "Look Good, Feel Better". And it's W O N D E R F U L.
(Look Good, Feel Better is available in every state, most cities, nationwide so if you have cancer, or know someone who has cancer, please tell them about this class. It's free and so is the goodie bag you get to take home!)
I attended the class in December and had a great time. I was invited back to the class last night to be interviewed and photographed for the April edition of "Journeys" magazine for Renown Hospital.
Alan and his group of volunteers do this class the third Wednesday of every month at Renown Hospital. It's from 6:00pm-8:00pm. The Rubicon Deli donates delicious sandwiches for those attending, which is a nice way to kick off a meeting. As we were eating the sandwiches Alan introduced himself and the other volunteers who are lovely ladies who work in his salon. (Shawna, Carrie, Katie) Then they handed out the bags of FREE cosmetics.
As a girl who LOVES makeup, hair, fingernails, etc, I absolutely loved opening that bag and sifting through the treasures. Cosmetic brushes from MAC, lip gloss and lip stick from Aveda and CHANEL. Mascara from Estee Lauder, Eye shadow from Clinique. It's some high-end stuff! Then they demonstrate how to apply all of it.
There is always a wide range of patients in the class. Some who have just been diagnosed, others who are finishing treatment, others who are have fought cancer before and are back due to a new diagnosis. But I'm tellin' ya, you get a group of women in one room, feed them, give them makeup they will bond all on their own and some great friendships were formed too. We ooo and aahhh at each other and point out how beautiful we all are even without hair.
And then they break out the wigs....and show different ways to tie the scarves and we eat some more and talk even more and bond some more. And wake up the next morning refreshed, knowing there are many more women out there fighting the same battle and we're all going to Look Good and Feel Better doing it!
(Look Good, Feel Better is available in every state, most cities, nationwide so if you have cancer, or know someone who has cancer, please tell them about this class. It's free and so is the goodie bag you get to take home!)
I attended the class in December and had a great time. I was invited back to the class last night to be interviewed and photographed for the April edition of "Journeys" magazine for Renown Hospital.
Alan and his group of volunteers do this class the third Wednesday of every month at Renown Hospital. It's from 6:00pm-8:00pm. The Rubicon Deli donates delicious sandwiches for those attending, which is a nice way to kick off a meeting. As we were eating the sandwiches Alan introduced himself and the other volunteers who are lovely ladies who work in his salon. (Shawna, Carrie, Katie) Then they handed out the bags of FREE cosmetics.
As a girl who LOVES makeup, hair, fingernails, etc, I absolutely loved opening that bag and sifting through the treasures. Cosmetic brushes from MAC, lip gloss and lip stick from Aveda and CHANEL. Mascara from Estee Lauder, Eye shadow from Clinique. It's some high-end stuff! Then they demonstrate how to apply all of it.
There is always a wide range of patients in the class. Some who have just been diagnosed, others who are finishing treatment, others who are have fought cancer before and are back due to a new diagnosis. But I'm tellin' ya, you get a group of women in one room, feed them, give them makeup they will bond all on their own and some great friendships were formed too. We ooo and aahhh at each other and point out how beautiful we all are even without hair.
And then they break out the wigs....and show different ways to tie the scarves and we eat some more and talk even more and bond some more. And wake up the next morning refreshed, knowing there are many more women out there fighting the same battle and we're all going to Look Good and Feel Better doing it!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Hair Again
This is the blog entry I was making notes about when I started having a reaction to the Taxol.
Hair is a fascinating thing.
It's really just dead cells growing together out the top of our heads. However, there are careers made just out of cutting, coloring, styling, perming, waving, braiding, extending, and tinseling it. My daughter pointed out there are entire aisles in stores dedicated to just washing it!...and whole schools just to learn how to cut it. And these graduates can make a decent living doing just that.
Hair has many uses. First to cover the top of our heads (most of us) but it can be used to camouflage a blemish, cover pointy, big or sticky-out ears (mine are pointy), you can look like a hot mess or a just a mess. It can help you flirt, with that hair toss. If you want to change your look, your hair is the first thing you change. Cut or color or style.
Your hair will help contour your face or help balance your head. Pick up any fashion magazine and there will be an article on how to wear your hair to compliment your face shape. Square jaw? Hair should be longer than your chin. Heart shaped face? Hair should end at your jaw line to balance the width of your forehead.
So when you start losing it from the results of chemotherapy it's a hard thing to take. For some reason most patients I spoke with hoped that they'd be the one whose hair DIDN'T fall out. Me included. It took a while but when it went, it WENT. And like my friend Kellie said, "It's easier to shave it, than to watch it fall out"
When I was little (4-8 years old) I wanted long, long hair. All the way down my back. It never grew that long. So I would take small baby blankets that have the corner capped off and put them on my head and pretend it was my "down hair". As Damon shaved the last of my hair off he said, "You can always wear that baby blanket for your down hair."
He can make me laugh at the worst moments!
Keep the Faith
Hair is a fascinating thing.
It's really just dead cells growing together out the top of our heads. However, there are careers made just out of cutting, coloring, styling, perming, waving, braiding, extending, and tinseling it. My daughter pointed out there are entire aisles in stores dedicated to just washing it!...and whole schools just to learn how to cut it. And these graduates can make a decent living doing just that.
Hair has many uses. First to cover the top of our heads (most of us) but it can be used to camouflage a blemish, cover pointy, big or sticky-out ears (mine are pointy), you can look like a hot mess or a just a mess. It can help you flirt, with that hair toss. If you want to change your look, your hair is the first thing you change. Cut or color or style.
Your hair will help contour your face or help balance your head. Pick up any fashion magazine and there will be an article on how to wear your hair to compliment your face shape. Square jaw? Hair should be longer than your chin. Heart shaped face? Hair should end at your jaw line to balance the width of your forehead.
So when you start losing it from the results of chemotherapy it's a hard thing to take. For some reason most patients I spoke with hoped that they'd be the one whose hair DIDN'T fall out. Me included. It took a while but when it went, it WENT. And like my friend Kellie said, "It's easier to shave it, than to watch it fall out"
When I was little (4-8 years old) I wanted long, long hair. All the way down my back. It never grew that long. So I would take small baby blankets that have the corner capped off and put them on my head and pretend it was my "down hair". As Damon shaved the last of my hair off he said, "You can always wear that baby blanket for your down hair."
He can make me laugh at the worst moments!
Keep the Faith
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I Could Write About This....or I Could Write About THAT.
I can't decide if I should do the blog entry I was working on when I started having a violent allergic reaction to the chemotherapy drug....or if I should write about having a violent allergic reaction to the chemotherapy drug.
Maybe both??
Which first?
Ok. The violent reaction to the chemotherapy drug.
It was a dark and stormy night...haha. Not really, it was kind of sunny, cool morning. And I was there for my fourth session. Or as my doctor pointed out, 1/3 of the way through! yeah!
I had received all my premeds (Zofran~for nausea, Pepcid~for reaction prevention and nausea, Benadryl~for reaction prevention, Dexamethasone~for reaction prevention and nausea, Tylenol~to prevent fever with the Herceptin) and then they started Taxol. This is the drug that kills all the fast growing cells in the body. But it can't tell the difference between cancer cells and healthy cells. This is why we experience T O T A L hair loss. (Yes, the chemical-induced-involuntary-Brazilian Wax) And intestinal problems and mouth sores...those are also fast growing cells.
If a patient is going to react to Taxol they "usually" (I love that word) have it during the first half hour (it's a 90 minute infusion) in the first two sessions. This was my FOURTH. They give a lot of saline during the infusion so I'm in the bathroom a lot. I decided to use the restroom then settle in with my lunch and watch a DVD on my little player while I received the Taxol.
While in the restroom I was washing my hands and had a fleeting thought, "Hmmm, I haven't reacted yet, so I must be ok" No sooner did I complete that thought that my chest started squeezing and I couldn't breathe. I grabbed the IV pole and walked out the door and told the first nurse I saw...well, signaled her really, that my chest was closing in. She immediately stopped the infusion and grabbed both my arms and practically threw me into my recliner. I started seeing stars. They put a pulse/ox indicator on my finger and in those few seconds my oxygen saturation dropped to 85%. They slapped oxygen on me.
By stopping the infusion they push saline to rinse. When I started reacting all the premeds kicked in and between the rinse and the premeds it took about 5-10 minutes for the symptoms to dissipate. All of this is through the tube that is hooked to the port in my chest.
About 30 seconds after I started having a hard time breathing, my lower back completely seized up. O M Y G O S H. They have a pain scale from 1-10. 1 being really no pain and 10 is the worst. This back pain was a 15. I had completely frozen up and any movement was excruciating. They put a blood pressure cuff on me and it was 168/118. Then the pain moved from my back into my hip joints and thighs. That's when I started crying. They don't give pain meds because stopping the infusion and starting the saline rinse stops the pain and reaction faster than anything additional they could have given me. One of the nurses who was helping sat on the floor and held my hand and I have to say that simple act of compassion helped calm me down faster than anything else.
As the pain finally began to go away I was able to sit back in the chair. I remembered that during the worst part of the reaction my little voice was telling me to listen to the nurses and not to panic. I would be fine, they know what to do. Just hang in there. And My Big Voice was saying "I WANT DAMON HERE!!!"
Finally after about half an hour I had settled down enough, the pain had gone away and I had stopped shaking. I reclined the chair and put my wonderful blanket that Lynette Guarino sent me for Christmas over me. The nurses called my doctor to find out what the next step was. They gave me another dose of dexamethasone (the steroid) which is why I'm up at 2 in the morning writing this, and then they restarted the Taxol at a very slow rate. I completed the the infusion without any more incidents.
Each nurse asked me a couple of times how many sessions I have had of Taxol. I kept telling them four. They'd shake their heads. I asked if it was usual to react like that on the fourth session. The answer was No. Well, of course! Nothing about this has been normal!
I'm grateful for the still,small voice that whispered I would be ok, just stay calm and listen to the nurses. I'm grateful for a nursing staff who acted so fast and with so much care and compassion. I'm grateful to Lynette for sending that wonderful blanket that was perfect for snuggling in to get warm again. I'm grateful to my husband for being 3 blocks away at his favorite Mexican restaurant eating the Friday lunch special so he shot right over to see me after this happened. (Los Compadres on 4th Street) I'm grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who has been right next to me through this whole thing.
Keep the Faith.
Maybe both??
Which first?
Ok. The violent reaction to the chemotherapy drug.
It was a dark and stormy night...haha. Not really, it was kind of sunny, cool morning. And I was there for my fourth session. Or as my doctor pointed out, 1/3 of the way through! yeah!
I had received all my premeds (Zofran~for nausea, Pepcid~for reaction prevention and nausea, Benadryl~for reaction prevention, Dexamethasone~for reaction prevention and nausea, Tylenol~to prevent fever with the Herceptin) and then they started Taxol. This is the drug that kills all the fast growing cells in the body. But it can't tell the difference between cancer cells and healthy cells. This is why we experience T O T A L hair loss. (Yes, the chemical-induced-involuntary-Brazilian Wax) And intestinal problems and mouth sores...those are also fast growing cells.
If a patient is going to react to Taxol they "usually" (I love that word) have it during the first half hour (it's a 90 minute infusion) in the first two sessions. This was my FOURTH. They give a lot of saline during the infusion so I'm in the bathroom a lot. I decided to use the restroom then settle in with my lunch and watch a DVD on my little player while I received the Taxol.
While in the restroom I was washing my hands and had a fleeting thought, "Hmmm, I haven't reacted yet, so I must be ok" No sooner did I complete that thought that my chest started squeezing and I couldn't breathe. I grabbed the IV pole and walked out the door and told the first nurse I saw...well, signaled her really, that my chest was closing in. She immediately stopped the infusion and grabbed both my arms and practically threw me into my recliner. I started seeing stars. They put a pulse/ox indicator on my finger and in those few seconds my oxygen saturation dropped to 85%. They slapped oxygen on me.
By stopping the infusion they push saline to rinse. When I started reacting all the premeds kicked in and between the rinse and the premeds it took about 5-10 minutes for the symptoms to dissipate. All of this is through the tube that is hooked to the port in my chest.
About 30 seconds after I started having a hard time breathing, my lower back completely seized up. O M Y G O S H. They have a pain scale from 1-10. 1 being really no pain and 10 is the worst. This back pain was a 15. I had completely frozen up and any movement was excruciating. They put a blood pressure cuff on me and it was 168/118. Then the pain moved from my back into my hip joints and thighs. That's when I started crying. They don't give pain meds because stopping the infusion and starting the saline rinse stops the pain and reaction faster than anything additional they could have given me. One of the nurses who was helping sat on the floor and held my hand and I have to say that simple act of compassion helped calm me down faster than anything else.
As the pain finally began to go away I was able to sit back in the chair. I remembered that during the worst part of the reaction my little voice was telling me to listen to the nurses and not to panic. I would be fine, they know what to do. Just hang in there. And My Big Voice was saying "I WANT DAMON HERE!!!"
Finally after about half an hour I had settled down enough, the pain had gone away and I had stopped shaking. I reclined the chair and put my wonderful blanket that Lynette Guarino sent me for Christmas over me. The nurses called my doctor to find out what the next step was. They gave me another dose of dexamethasone (the steroid) which is why I'm up at 2 in the morning writing this, and then they restarted the Taxol at a very slow rate. I completed the the infusion without any more incidents.
Each nurse asked me a couple of times how many sessions I have had of Taxol. I kept telling them four. They'd shake their heads. I asked if it was usual to react like that on the fourth session. The answer was No. Well, of course! Nothing about this has been normal!
I'm grateful for the still,small voice that whispered I would be ok, just stay calm and listen to the nurses. I'm grateful for a nursing staff who acted so fast and with so much care and compassion. I'm grateful to Lynette for sending that wonderful blanket that was perfect for snuggling in to get warm again. I'm grateful to my husband for being 3 blocks away at his favorite Mexican restaurant eating the Friday lunch special so he shot right over to see me after this happened. (Los Compadres on 4th Street) I'm grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who has been right next to me through this whole thing.
Keep the Faith.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Q & A
I've had a lot of questions sent to me about the cancer and even some more personal ones about what I do. So I thought I'd answer some of those questions.
Q: How did you miss a tumor that big?
I didn't miss it. When I first felt it I was also having large boils and sores from a MRSA staph infection. It's all in the same area. On the left side, under my arm and into the chest. When it began to behave differently and when the pain from the lump got bad I showed it to my doctor (up until then I hadn't mentioned it~~ yes, I know, first mistake). He got the ball rolling immediately.
Q: What kind of cancer do you have?
I have Ductal Sarcoma in Situ. Which means the tumor is in the ducts and insitu means it hasn't spread. It's stage 3 because of the size of the tumor (10cm~think tennis ball) and the number of lymph nodes that are effected (more than 2 or 3). It's also Her2/Neu+ (Her Two New Positive) which means this tumor thrives on estrogen. So, one of the chemo drugs, Herceptin, is given to block the tumor from receiving any more estrogen. Between the Taxol and the Herceptin both the tumor and nodes have shrunk to less than half of what they were. In fact my left side looks almost normal again. And yes, I'll have to complete both sets of 12 weeks of chemo even though there has been so much shrinkage. It's stage 3, but they treat it as if it has spread.
Q: Who are all your doctors?
The doctor who moved things along and who treated the staph is Kevin Kiene. He's a skin cancer specialist and an amazing doctor. And let me say again, "AS SOON AS I FINALLY TOLD HIM ABOUT THE TUMOR HE REFERRED ME TO A SPECIALIST!!"
The surgeon who did the biopsy and implanted the Power Port is James Harris at Western Surgical. Very funny guy.
My oncologist (cancer doc) is Aaron Bowman. He's in with Reddy and Abrass. I get my chemotherapy infusion at the Renown Institute for Cancer. Damon thinks the name is wrong...it should be Institute AGAINST Cancer. ;-)
My cardiologist is Kosta Arger. He's also my Dad's heart doc. He's been great and very helpful. And I think that just about covers it.
The rest are family docs and dentists...but if you really want to know who they are.... John Childs is our dentist. His office is on Lakeside. Awesome dentist.
Oh and my Chiropractor is Tony Jensen. You know how people have gifts?? His is the gift of healing. And I'm not kidding.
Q: What is Access to Healthcare Network?
It is a discounted healthcare plan. It's not insurance. You can call 775-284-8989 and they will fill you in. For anyone who does not have insurance this plan is amazing.
Q: What do you do now?
I'm sort of assuming this question means what do I do for a living. I actually have two great positions. The first is as an Independent Distributor for SendOutCards. What is SendOutCards? It is a website where you select a greeting card (there are 15,000 to choose from) write your message and the actual card is printed and mailed for you through the US mail....with a stamp! If you'd like to send a couple cards for free just go to www.sendoutcards.com/1221 and click on "send a card". Be sure to check out the gifts and gift cards that can be included, too!
The other very part-time position is as an Assistant Director for BNI. BNI is Business Network International. It's the world's largest referral organization. Not only do I promote my own business in the chapter I belong to, I assist in growing a few of the 16 chapters in Northern Nevada. Chances are there's a chapter in your area. Go to www.bni.com and click on "Find a Chapter". We are a world wide organization.
We have an upcoming event in February that I'm very excited about. International Networking Week. It's Wednesday February 9, 2011. Jordan Adler, author of Beach Money, is our keynote speaker.
I hope I answered the few questions some of you had. If you have more, ask away!
But please...
Keep the Faith.
Q: How did you miss a tumor that big?
I didn't miss it. When I first felt it I was also having large boils and sores from a MRSA staph infection. It's all in the same area. On the left side, under my arm and into the chest. When it began to behave differently and when the pain from the lump got bad I showed it to my doctor (up until then I hadn't mentioned it~~ yes, I know, first mistake). He got the ball rolling immediately.
Q: What kind of cancer do you have?
I have Ductal Sarcoma in Situ. Which means the tumor is in the ducts and insitu means it hasn't spread. It's stage 3 because of the size of the tumor (10cm~think tennis ball) and the number of lymph nodes that are effected (more than 2 or 3). It's also Her2/Neu+ (Her Two New Positive) which means this tumor thrives on estrogen. So, one of the chemo drugs, Herceptin, is given to block the tumor from receiving any more estrogen. Between the Taxol and the Herceptin both the tumor and nodes have shrunk to less than half of what they were. In fact my left side looks almost normal again. And yes, I'll have to complete both sets of 12 weeks of chemo even though there has been so much shrinkage. It's stage 3, but they treat it as if it has spread.
Q: Who are all your doctors?
The doctor who moved things along and who treated the staph is Kevin Kiene. He's a skin cancer specialist and an amazing doctor. And let me say again, "AS SOON AS I FINALLY TOLD HIM ABOUT THE TUMOR HE REFERRED ME TO A SPECIALIST!!"
The surgeon who did the biopsy and implanted the Power Port is James Harris at Western Surgical. Very funny guy.
My oncologist (cancer doc) is Aaron Bowman. He's in with Reddy and Abrass. I get my chemotherapy infusion at the Renown Institute for Cancer. Damon thinks the name is wrong...it should be Institute AGAINST Cancer. ;-)
My cardiologist is Kosta Arger. He's also my Dad's heart doc. He's been great and very helpful. And I think that just about covers it.
The rest are family docs and dentists...but if you really want to know who they are.... John Childs is our dentist. His office is on Lakeside. Awesome dentist.
Oh and my Chiropractor is Tony Jensen. You know how people have gifts?? His is the gift of healing. And I'm not kidding.
Q: What is Access to Healthcare Network?
It is a discounted healthcare plan. It's not insurance. You can call 775-284-8989 and they will fill you in. For anyone who does not have insurance this plan is amazing.
Q: What do you do now?
I'm sort of assuming this question means what do I do for a living. I actually have two great positions. The first is as an Independent Distributor for SendOutCards. What is SendOutCards? It is a website where you select a greeting card (there are 15,000 to choose from) write your message and the actual card is printed and mailed for you through the US mail....with a stamp! If you'd like to send a couple cards for free just go to www.sendoutcards.com/1221 and click on "send a card". Be sure to check out the gifts and gift cards that can be included, too!
The other very part-time position is as an Assistant Director for BNI. BNI is Business Network International. It's the world's largest referral organization. Not only do I promote my own business in the chapter I belong to, I assist in growing a few of the 16 chapters in Northern Nevada. Chances are there's a chapter in your area. Go to www.bni.com and click on "Find a Chapter". We are a world wide organization.
We have an upcoming event in February that I'm very excited about. International Networking Week. It's Wednesday February 9, 2011. Jordan Adler, author of Beach Money, is our keynote speaker.
I hope I answered the few questions some of you had. If you have more, ask away!
But please...
Keep the Faith.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
And here we go...
So yes, here we go. This is the first bunch of hair to come out and it did in the shower this morning. :-{
Like Roseann Almond told her mother, "We're prayin' for YOU, not your hair"
Keepin' the Faith
Saturday, January 8, 2011
I'm a Yellow
Maybe you've heard of the book "The Color Code" by Taylor Hartman. It's a personality test that tells you what you are most often like. I'm a solid Yellow. Or maybe you're familiar with other personality analysis...I'd be a High I, or Sapphire.
I've always worked well with the Color Code. I laughed the first time I read about being yellow.
"Riding on the primary motive of fun, Yellows reflect the spirit of the wind and the life-giving miracle of fresh air. They are as essential to society as breathing is to the human existence. Yellows love life. They are spirited, exciting, and have an innate ability to be happy. They have a mental attitude that allows them to appreciate what they have, rather than being miserable about what they lack. Fate often appears to smile on them, and they are considered to be very lucky." ~ The Color Code page 113.
Some of the other traits:
-highly entertaining
-promotes fun family activities
-flows easily with negative experiences
-turns crisis into comedy
-concern themselves with the broad picture rather than the details.
And their philosophy is this: "Life's a party and they're hosting"
That's why I loved this next thing when I read it. It's from the January "Real Simple" Magazine page 60. It's a reader's contribution about Life Lessons...
"Celebrate Everything"
"Each time I walk into my apartment-even if I've been gone for less than a minute-my three dogs leap on me, kiss me, lick me, wag and bark and show me their chew toys. I find it inspiring. Life throws a lot of junk in your direction, so you might as well get your kicks when you can. Now I try to acknowledge every small-but-happy event. (my kids' half-birthdays, good doctor's visits, even when a mosquito bite stops itching) with at least a cheerful word or gesture. I believe that if dogs could speak, they'd say, "You should have a cupcake for that" That's a worldview I can get behind. ~ Julie Klam author of "You Had me at Woof"
I'm following one other blog from a breast cancer patient and it's titled "But Doctor...I hate pink!" Her entries are clearly those of a fellow yellow so I have really enjoyed reading them.
There's a scripture in the Book of Mormon that I have always enjoyed reading...
"Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."
It's a happy scripture, or should I say joyful?
I've used the Color Code so much that even our oldest son has applied the analysis to the people he meets in Mexico and the different Missionary Companions he's been assigned. He'll let us know what category they fall into and it says a lot about who they are. It's helped him communicate with those individuals in the way that works for them.
Even though I am a very optimistic person I've had my downer moments. After a particularly painful betrayal from a group of people I thought were my friends I had a two week long bout with depression that I never thought I'd come out of. I wondered who else could have experienced that kind of betrayal and my first thought was, "The Savior has" Who better to understand what that felt like? So I said some very heartfelt prayers and pretty soon found myself being lifted out of that depression. I've also learned through my life that any pain or suffering we may endure has already been felt by the Savior when He was in the Garden of Gethsemane. What He passed through there surpasses any suffering we may be called to endure in this life. This adds to my optimism.
As always,
Keep the Faith!
I've always worked well with the Color Code. I laughed the first time I read about being yellow.
"Riding on the primary motive of fun, Yellows reflect the spirit of the wind and the life-giving miracle of fresh air. They are as essential to society as breathing is to the human existence. Yellows love life. They are spirited, exciting, and have an innate ability to be happy. They have a mental attitude that allows them to appreciate what they have, rather than being miserable about what they lack. Fate often appears to smile on them, and they are considered to be very lucky." ~ The Color Code page 113.
Some of the other traits:
-highly entertaining
-promotes fun family activities
-flows easily with negative experiences
-turns crisis into comedy
-concern themselves with the broad picture rather than the details.
And their philosophy is this: "Life's a party and they're hosting"
That's why I loved this next thing when I read it. It's from the January "Real Simple" Magazine page 60. It's a reader's contribution about Life Lessons...
"Celebrate Everything"
"Each time I walk into my apartment-even if I've been gone for less than a minute-my three dogs leap on me, kiss me, lick me, wag and bark and show me their chew toys. I find it inspiring. Life throws a lot of junk in your direction, so you might as well get your kicks when you can. Now I try to acknowledge every small-but-happy event. (my kids' half-birthdays, good doctor's visits, even when a mosquito bite stops itching) with at least a cheerful word or gesture. I believe that if dogs could speak, they'd say, "You should have a cupcake for that" That's a worldview I can get behind. ~ Julie Klam author of "You Had me at Woof"
I'm following one other blog from a breast cancer patient and it's titled "But Doctor...I hate pink!" Her entries are clearly those of a fellow yellow so I have really enjoyed reading them.
There's a scripture in the Book of Mormon that I have always enjoyed reading...
"Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."
It's a happy scripture, or should I say joyful?
I've used the Color Code so much that even our oldest son has applied the analysis to the people he meets in Mexico and the different Missionary Companions he's been assigned. He'll let us know what category they fall into and it says a lot about who they are. It's helped him communicate with those individuals in the way that works for them.
Even though I am a very optimistic person I've had my downer moments. After a particularly painful betrayal from a group of people I thought were my friends I had a two week long bout with depression that I never thought I'd come out of. I wondered who else could have experienced that kind of betrayal and my first thought was, "The Savior has" Who better to understand what that felt like? So I said some very heartfelt prayers and pretty soon found myself being lifted out of that depression. I've also learned through my life that any pain or suffering we may endure has already been felt by the Savior when He was in the Garden of Gethsemane. What He passed through there surpasses any suffering we may be called to endure in this life. This adds to my optimism.
As always,
Keep the Faith!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Weekly Check-up
The day before my chemotherapy treatment I have to see my oncologist to be cleared for the infusion. They do a vital signs check, take a blood test to see what my blood counts are and do a general Q&A.
Today was a good checkup day.
Doctor asked if I'd noticed any changes in the tumor area. I said, "Ya, it's less than half its size and I've only had two treatments!" He examined the area and confirmed that yes, that tumor is less than half the size and the lymph nodes have shrunk as well. (I didn't really need him to tell me it's smaller, I can CLEARLY tell that on my own) He said the largest lymph node was easily 6cm or larger and it's down to around 2cm now. That's a lot of shrinkage!
My blood counts are good. I was anemic last week, but not this week. (Thank you Leanna for the Juice Plus Complete Spinach Smoothie recipe!!)
8oz Coconut Water
1/2 cup frozen pineapple
1/2 banana (frozen or fresh)
1 scoop French Vanilla Juice Plus Complete
1 Tblsp Coconut Oil (medium chain fatty acid that doesn't require insulin to get into the cell---highly recommended)
2 handfuls fresh spinach leaves.
Blend until smooth.
Yes it's green, but it's delicious and gets me through the four hour infusion and I don't get hungry or weak.
A friend sent me a video of Katy Perry's "Firework". Great song...here's a few lyrics from it:
You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July
Cause baby you're a firework
C'mon show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go oh, oh, oh
And you shoot across the sky
Baby, you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go oh oh oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down
Boom, Boom, Boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let in through.
Great song....great message!
Keep the Faith
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Attitude is Everything!
I copied this from Hats2Cover.com
Too cute.
ATTITUDE:
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.'
So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror
and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.
'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.'
So she did and she had a grand day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed
that she had only one hair on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.'
So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed
that there wasn't a single hair on her head.
'YAY!' she exclaimed. 'I don't have to fix my hair today!'
Attitude is everything.
Too cute.
ATTITUDE:
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.'
So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror
and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.
'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.'
So she did and she had a grand day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed
that she had only one hair on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.'
So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed
that there wasn't a single hair on her head.
'YAY!' she exclaimed. 'I don't have to fix my hair today!'
Attitude is everything.
Monday, January 3, 2011
My Life is Not the Pits
A few weeks ago I saw a gal who at one point was a friend of mine. Not so much anymore, and I have to wonder, if ever. Apparently she had heard about my breast cancer and her response to me was, "Boy your life is just the pits, isn't it?"
I had to suppress the initial flash of anger and think about a civil response. First of all, my life is not the pits. We've been through some serious trials in the last few years, BUT WHO HASN'T?!
My life is not better or worse than the next person. The problem with comments like that is I start to think of all the snappy come-backs that would have put her in her place. But that's really not my style. I could post a few of her "trials" on this page, but I'm taking the high road. Those of you who know her...well, you know what I mean.
Her comment did bring to mind a few things. As a religious person I go to the scriptures for strength in adversity. There are a lot of stories of people who struggled and how they got through. None more recognized than Job. I believe there is more to the story of Job than someone who suffered a lot and never lost faith. There is a lesson there to those who were his friends and family and associates to not judge. (Job Chapters 1-19)
Just because someone is going through SEVERE trials does not make them unrighteous or evil. Anymore than someone who has smooth sailing is a righteous individual. We are here to be tested. "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth." (Hebrews 12:6)
But going back to Job for just a moment. He did complain. He did wonder why he had to suffer so much, yet he never lost his Faith in God and in Chapter 19 he recounts all his trials yet still testifies of God.
Here is the thing about having an illness. If you aren't the person who is ill, you probably aren't receiving the inspiring thoughts and moments of spiritual awareness that let you know you're going to be ok. I know I'm eventually going to be ok, it's just going to stink for a while.
Is my life the pits? No. Not at all. I have a terrific husband who can make me laugh while I'm being wheeled off to surgery. I have Four of the best kids a mother could ever be blessed with. And when things got a little confusing and we didn't know what was going to happen, they dug in and ran the house while I rested.
For the most part I feel good. About the third day after treatment I'm a little cranky and flu-ish, but I hear that's pretty normal.
So if you have a friend who seems to be enduring some serious trials, try not to judge. Clearly the Lord loves them.
Keep the Faith
I had to suppress the initial flash of anger and think about a civil response. First of all, my life is not the pits. We've been through some serious trials in the last few years, BUT WHO HASN'T?!
My life is not better or worse than the next person. The problem with comments like that is I start to think of all the snappy come-backs that would have put her in her place. But that's really not my style. I could post a few of her "trials" on this page, but I'm taking the high road. Those of you who know her...well, you know what I mean.
Her comment did bring to mind a few things. As a religious person I go to the scriptures for strength in adversity. There are a lot of stories of people who struggled and how they got through. None more recognized than Job. I believe there is more to the story of Job than someone who suffered a lot and never lost faith. There is a lesson there to those who were his friends and family and associates to not judge. (Job Chapters 1-19)
Just because someone is going through SEVERE trials does not make them unrighteous or evil. Anymore than someone who has smooth sailing is a righteous individual. We are here to be tested. "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth." (Hebrews 12:6)
But going back to Job for just a moment. He did complain. He did wonder why he had to suffer so much, yet he never lost his Faith in God and in Chapter 19 he recounts all his trials yet still testifies of God.
Here is the thing about having an illness. If you aren't the person who is ill, you probably aren't receiving the inspiring thoughts and moments of spiritual awareness that let you know you're going to be ok. I know I'm eventually going to be ok, it's just going to stink for a while.
Is my life the pits? No. Not at all. I have a terrific husband who can make me laugh while I'm being wheeled off to surgery. I have Four of the best kids a mother could ever be blessed with. And when things got a little confusing and we didn't know what was going to happen, they dug in and ran the house while I rested.
For the most part I feel good. About the third day after treatment I'm a little cranky and flu-ish, but I hear that's pretty normal.
So if you have a friend who seems to be enduring some serious trials, try not to judge. Clearly the Lord loves them.
Keep the Faith
Saturday, January 1, 2011
I Have a Confession to Make
I have a confession to make.
I'm not that sick. The chemotherapy has not effected me much. I know it's VERY early in the process. I've only had two sessions. But I keep getting emails from friends and family lamenting my situation. Really, I'm doing great.
New Year's Eve is a big deal in our house. Our two youngest boys have their birthdays that day. Yep. Eight years apart on New Year's Eve. Not only that, Christopher (13) was born the year Reno flooded with a 100 year type flood. Eight years later Ethan (5) was born on New Year's Eve the next time we had another 100 year flood. There's talk of Reno flooding again this year. I say "NO". I'm not pregnant....ain't gonna happen.
So by New Year's Day all of my children have officially advanced an age. Making them 20, 17, 13, and 5. And they are beautiful.
Back to the chemotherapy.
Now is about the time my hair should be falling out, right? It's curlier and bouncier than ever. I'm supposed to feel nauseas. Tch, ya. I felt slightly queasy about 3am of the second treament so I took a phenergan and went back to bed. Haven't needed one since. I'm a little more tired and I have experienced some tiny muscle fatigue....but when we went to the movie (Tangled) yesterday I climbed the stairs to the top of the theatre just fine.
Maybe it's too soon.
But I do have a theory.
Last May I started the McCombs Plan Candida Cleanse. (www.mccombsplan.com)
This is an eating program that cleans out your gut of any toxins and fungus. Then for 16 weeks you eat a diet of only fresh foods. Nothing processed, frozen or artificial. And guess what? It's F R E E. The only expense is the better groceries. And he does offer supplements to help clear out the gut. But they really aren't necessary.
Basically you eat all meats except pork, (pork carries viruses). All vegies. All fruits (except oranges they carry fungus). Eggs. Water. You can have coffee and tea. and the only grain is brown rice. It doesn't sound like much but it's A LOT of food. The "No" foods list is much longer. No sugar, wheat or any grain besides brown rice, sugar subs, dairy or dairy subs, vinegar, alcohol, soy sauce. No fruit juices or dried fruits, no nuts or legumes, nothing processed or frozen. Nothing that has a chance to ferment.
The idea behind this is that all the NO foods feed the candida. Candida loves sugar or anything processed or artifcial. From May until now I've followed the strictest first 8 weeks of the program....
And I TRULY feel that because of this the chemotherapy is able to do it's job more efficiently and that's why I feel so good and the tumor is shrinking so much. (I've also shrunk about 60 pounds)
Oh ya. Let me explain THAT.
(graphic description)
This tumor is the left breast. It was huge. 10cm (think tennis ball). I'm not that big chested so it was VERY noticeable. The nipple folded in on itself and it was starting to develop blisters and sores on the outside of the skin. It was easily a DD in cup size and I often popped out of my bra since it's only a C.
Yesterday as I put lotion on I noticed it was smaller. The fold isn't as deep, in fact it's almost gone. The sores have healed up. And I fit just fine in my C cup bra on both sides.
I've only had two doses of chemotherapy. I really feel that eating plan, all the prayers and good thoughts have made a huge difference.
So that's my confession.
Happy New Year!
Keep the Faith
I'm not that sick. The chemotherapy has not effected me much. I know it's VERY early in the process. I've only had two sessions. But I keep getting emails from friends and family lamenting my situation. Really, I'm doing great.
New Year's Eve is a big deal in our house. Our two youngest boys have their birthdays that day. Yep. Eight years apart on New Year's Eve. Not only that, Christopher (13) was born the year Reno flooded with a 100 year type flood. Eight years later Ethan (5) was born on New Year's Eve the next time we had another 100 year flood. There's talk of Reno flooding again this year. I say "NO". I'm not pregnant....ain't gonna happen.
So by New Year's Day all of my children have officially advanced an age. Making them 20, 17, 13, and 5. And they are beautiful.
Back to the chemotherapy.
Now is about the time my hair should be falling out, right? It's curlier and bouncier than ever. I'm supposed to feel nauseas. Tch, ya. I felt slightly queasy about 3am of the second treament so I took a phenergan and went back to bed. Haven't needed one since. I'm a little more tired and I have experienced some tiny muscle fatigue....but when we went to the movie (Tangled) yesterday I climbed the stairs to the top of the theatre just fine.
Maybe it's too soon.
But I do have a theory.
Last May I started the McCombs Plan Candida Cleanse. (www.mccombsplan.com)
This is an eating program that cleans out your gut of any toxins and fungus. Then for 16 weeks you eat a diet of only fresh foods. Nothing processed, frozen or artificial. And guess what? It's F R E E. The only expense is the better groceries. And he does offer supplements to help clear out the gut. But they really aren't necessary.
Basically you eat all meats except pork, (pork carries viruses). All vegies. All fruits (except oranges they carry fungus). Eggs. Water. You can have coffee and tea. and the only grain is brown rice. It doesn't sound like much but it's A LOT of food. The "No" foods list is much longer. No sugar, wheat or any grain besides brown rice, sugar subs, dairy or dairy subs, vinegar, alcohol, soy sauce. No fruit juices or dried fruits, no nuts or legumes, nothing processed or frozen. Nothing that has a chance to ferment.
The idea behind this is that all the NO foods feed the candida. Candida loves sugar or anything processed or artifcial. From May until now I've followed the strictest first 8 weeks of the program....
And I TRULY feel that because of this the chemotherapy is able to do it's job more efficiently and that's why I feel so good and the tumor is shrinking so much. (I've also shrunk about 60 pounds)
Oh ya. Let me explain THAT.
(graphic description)
This tumor is the left breast. It was huge. 10cm (think tennis ball). I'm not that big chested so it was VERY noticeable. The nipple folded in on itself and it was starting to develop blisters and sores on the outside of the skin. It was easily a DD in cup size and I often popped out of my bra since it's only a C.
Yesterday as I put lotion on I noticed it was smaller. The fold isn't as deep, in fact it's almost gone. The sores have healed up. And I fit just fine in my C cup bra on both sides.
I've only had two doses of chemotherapy. I really feel that eating plan, all the prayers and good thoughts have made a huge difference.
So that's my confession.
Happy New Year!
Keep the Faith
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