This One is Really Different

Now that I am about 6 days into the treatment I've found that this drug effects me completely differently. This one just really wipes me out. I have more brain fog and have a harder time following conversations and such.

I received the infusion last Friday and today is Thursday. I'm still exhausted. Although last night I actually slept through the night. First time in a very long time.

The strangest side effect from this treatment is the food cravings. I gained 20 pounds from the taxol treatments and now, no matter WHAT I eat, I'm dropping weight very fast. In just a few days I've lost 12. However, I don't really recommend this diet. :-D

My wonderful Nurse Navigator, Bobbi, called me today. I ran these food cravings past her and she laughed. Told me to go ahead and indulge them. OK!!! I have craved rootbeer floats (for those of you on FB you've seen my messages) and I don't really even like rootbeer. Seven in one day is a craving, right? haha. Then today it's fish tacos. I've never had a fish taco that I can recall. But I called a friend to take me to the grocery store to get the fish, the cole slaw and the pita bread. And yes, I'll be the only one in the house eating them.

Last night a lovely lady from our church brought dinner. It was beef stew with a big loaf of crusty french bread and rootbeer! I totally stuffed myself and it tasted so good. My husband has pointed out that I'm craving savory foods. Comfort kind. My Dad took me to lunch at Swensen's after my doctor appointment on Tuesday and I had a patty melt with fries and ranch dressing and a rootbeer float. Gooey and savory.

My doctor says the wiped out feeling should start to improve around Sunday and that next week I should feel better. The following week is supposed to be the "good" week until they dose me again on the 15th.

I did get the Neulasta shot on Saturday which boosts white blood cells. The side effect of that is achey bones that are flu like symptoms. I've been blessed to not have nausea or achey bones. Just super super tired.

I just have to say THANK YOU again to all of my beautiful friends. My amazing neighbor had our little guy most of the day yesterday. He loved it and even got to have a glass of grape juice! His favorite. He got to spend time with the kids outside and played like a little boy should. My older kids cleaned the kitchen. I got to sleep, which I desperately needed. My husband got a break from making dinner. It was a gorgeous, warm day. What else can I say?

Keep the Faith.

Whew. Not as Bad as I Expected

One treatment down, three to go.

This is a round of new drugs.

The first is 5-FU (perfect name for chemotherapy...exactly how I feel :-)) This one is given through the infusion stand from a syringe and is very quick.

The second is Epirubicin. It's given as an IV push. It's so toxic the nurse has to administer it herself and not through the infusionator. There are two LARGE syringes about half full of the drug and the drug is dyed red. (side note: I pee orange for 3 days.) The nurse hooks it up to one of the ports and sits there pushing the plunger on the syringe so it goes into the IV. This drug is so toxic that if it breaks through the vein or leaks from the port it will begin to destroy tissue and it doesn't stop. Nothing they can do either. Yet it doesn't destroy the vein it goes into.... (we are interesting creations aren't we?) She also has to do what is called a blood draw every few minutes. All she does is pull the plunger on the syringe back to make sure there is full blood flow in the tubing through the port implanted in my chest.

The third is Cytoxan. This one is a regular infusion and takes about a half hour. It's also very toxic and is the drug that can make me very nauseous.

Here's the beauty part. Well, at least this was good information. My nurse has been in Oncology for 27 years. She was telling me that back then when she gave the Epirubicin the first thing she would do is give her patient a bucket. For them to throw up in....as she did the epirubicin push. It made people THAT sick, THAT fast.
She went on to tell me that my doctor doubled all my anti-nausea premeds and added Emend and she feels I will have no problem at all as long as I stick to the protocols.

My nurse, Rosa, tells me to drink 2 quarts of water every day for three days following the treatment. Due to the toxicity of the chemo drugs they can cause hemorrhagic cystitis...or big old bladder cysts. So she chants to me "Drink and Pee. Drink and Pee" It reminded me of Bee Movie "Thinking Bee. Thinking Bee."
I am drinking lots of water. I even have to get up in the middle of the night to pee and must set my alarm to do it or I could have serious complications. Drink 2 quarts of water and pee every two hours. Drink and Pee. Drink and Pee.

With this treatment my blood counts will drop and I am very susceptible to infections or illnesses. If I have a hot flash I have to take my temperature. I'll never keep up. I have a hot flash every 20 minutes. No joke. Of course my daughter comes home with a sore throat today. I will miss her. haha. I'm kidding. She's quarantined to her room for the weekend. Or maybe I should be. But if I quarantine her maybe she'll get SO bored she'll clean her room?!?

I am so grateful for all the good wishes and prayers that have come our way. My mother's housekeeper told her she lit a candle for me. This is very touching. Those aren't free and I've never met her. It reminded me of that song, "One Little Candle" ....'and if everyone lit just one little candle, what a bright world this would be.'

I've had some wonderfully spiritual experiences through this. Some true epiphanies and some very simple sweet moments. All of it has made me grow. I've had to learn new things and honestly it's an education I never wanted. I think we are all connected in ways we aren't even aware of. It's a small world and every challenge makes it smaller because you find those who have gone before you who are turning back to help you down that same road. I raise my water bottle and thank those who have blazed the trail.

Drink and Pee.
Light a Candle.
Keep the Faith.

Got a Break

Two weeks ago at my pre-chemotherapy doctor visit, my doctor offered to let me have a week off of treatment. He told me I have responded so well to the Taxol that one week off would not be a detriment to my overall treatment. At first I told him no, I'll keep going. However I realized the day after the next chemotherapy was our daughter's first high school prom. I really wanted to be able to be involved in that day. It takes all day to get ready!!

I called my doctor and spoke with the nurses about taking him up on that break. They felt I would be too sick and fatigued to really enjoy that it and encouraged me to take the it off. So I did.

What a great day it was! She got her hair done at a salon. She borrowed a shrug from her friend, Leslie. (Thanks Leslie) and then spent a few hours relaxing and playing with makeup ideas.

There were six couples in her prom group and they were all to meet at a friend's house for pre-prom festivities and photos. Of course, all the other parents were there too. It was very fun. The dresses were gorgeous and the girls all looked so elegant. The boys were very handsome. We must have all taken dozens of photos of the group and individual couples.

They left for dinner and then on to the prom. I have heard the dancing can be quite questionable and it was a concern for the whole group. They chose to stay on the outskirts of the large group and were able to escape the grinding.

After the dance they all went to one of the boy's homes and had pancakes. She was home by 12:30.

I'm so glad I didn't have to miss out. I was a big worn out from doing the running around but that's just fine. It was worth it.

This week is when it all starts over again.

Friday I start the FEC treatment and I have four of those three weeks apart. The last one on May 27th. FEC is the name of the 3 drugs I will be getting. The "F" is from 5-FU (such an appropriate name!). The "E" is epirubicin. This one can cause irreversible congestive heart failure so last week I had an echocardiogram to get a baseline. I already have moderate regurgitation in the mitral valve left over from the CHF I had 6 years ago....then had a baby. SO THERE! You can't get me, man. haha. The "C" is for Cytoxan. It's just plain nasty.

These drugs are MUCH different than what I have been getting. These drop my blood counts, cause nausea and if I don't pee every 2 hours for the first 72 hours cysts can develop in my bladder. I don't know what's worse the cancer or the treatment.

I also have to go back the next morning for a shot of neulasta. This drug boosts the white blood count and from what I have heard makes you feel like you have the flu.

There are many premeds involved that prevent nausea. The first is Emend. A pill I will take one hour before treatment then one a day for two days following. Plus they have given me two other prescriptions for anti-nausea drugs. Then there are a few more that are given through the port in my chest before the actual chemotherapy drugs are started.

I asked a fellow cancer patient who has already had these drugs, how the FEC nausea compares to pregnancy nausea. She said it's about the same. I only had nausea with one of our four kids. But is was ALL day EVERY day for the first trimester.

While the Taxol side effects will eventually go away, the new side effects will be different. I'm hoping the chemo brain fog will go away as well. I have a short attention span to begin with. It's why I hated school. But this is totally different. It's almost like having no short term memory. You can lose a train of thought mid-stream and truly not know how you got to another room in the house, or why you went there. I know as we get into our 40s this type of thing happens, and I have had it happen before the treatment...but there seems to be this dark fog that comes along with it that I didn't have before.

I'm blessed with friends who are Yellow (see The Color Code link), so conversations with them are a joy. They can jump from topic to topic mid sentence right along with me and never skip a beat. I love that. You know who you are...Sharon. Mary. My very Yellow friends.

Even though I am nervous about this next round, I know I am blessed with many prayers being said on my behalf. I couldn't get through this without them. On more than one occasion I have felt Heavenly Father boosting me up. The only way out is through it.

Keep the Faith.

Been a While

It's been a while since I've written anything. I think it has to do with entering that phase of chemo brain fog when you can't really think very well.

There is one more session of the Taxol treatment and then we move on to the "fun" one. This next session is every three weeks and from what I've heard...pretty nasty.
I've been approved to receive Emend as a pre and post med for nausea. Grateful for that.

The Taxol has taken it's toll. I have a lot of muscle fatigue that used to just last through Monday and Tuesday. But now it seems to go all week. Sometimes the aches will wake me up around 3 in the morning. Thankful for Netflix. I have a nasty rash on the back of my hands that is now starting to peel.
No hair. um... no hair.
I have managed to keep my eyelashes and eyebrows....so far...but it's not likely through the next session. And after losing 50 pounds last year...I've gained 15 from the massive doses of steroids I get as a premed. (rolls eyes). I have no doubt that it will come off fast after the chemo.

There are still many blessings coming our way. The support and encouragement of so many friends and family. Sweet phone calls. Emails. Texts. Facebook postings. mysterious treats left at the front door. Not-so-mysterious gifts left at the front door. Etc.

Access to Healthcare Network provides 20 hours of free housekeeping and the wonderful lady is here today cleaning our kitchen. She's one of those tiny women who's like a cleaning tornado. I love those. Reminds me of my grandmother.

Can't really think of anything else to say. Just hunkering down for the next onslaught of chemotherapy.

Oh ya...and losing an hour of sleep thanks to Daylight Savings....

Keep the Faith.