Stay Out There!

This week is my halfway point for the six of 12 chemotherapy treatments. And I'm feelin' the poison. It's oozed into my bones and about two days after the chemo they ache like a son-of-a-gun.

This last chemo went a big better than the one before it. However, I did react to the taxol again just not as severely. They say you react within the first half hour. Me? Right at 25 minutes. BING! Can't breathe and the back pain started. Although this time around it wasn't as bad because they weren't giving me the full dose. The drip was started verrryyy slowly so not much was onboard when the reaction started. That also means when they re-start it, there's even less going in. It took 4 1/2 hours to do a 90 minute infusion. I got there at 10:30am and didn't leave until 5:30pm. That's a long day. Kinda boring too. I'm only dangerous when I'm bored...

So I have to say, when you get stuck like that the opportunity to get out and see people on other days has a lot of appeal. If you have the chance to socialize you must do it. Especially if you enjoy people. It will refill your cup. Energize you. Help get you through the long days. Life goes on, man.

That's why I'm so looking forward to International Networking Week. It's the 5th time it's being presented and the speakers are phenomenal people. Two are from Reno so chances are you'll see them at other events. The keynote speaker, Jordan Adler, is the author of "Beach Money". Copies of his book will be available and he doesn't make ANY money on the book. All proceeds go to Kiva.org. Kiva provides micro-loans to entrepreneurs in developing countries.

This event is Wednesday, February 9, 2011 from 7:30am-10:30am at the Atlantis Resort in Reno, Nevada. Tickets are $25 now and $30 at the door. Breakfast is included. Sponsor tables are available for $125 and include two tickets to the event.

See You There!

Look Good, Feel Better

There is wonderful program that the Bellissima Salon owner, Alan Squailia, runs that is specifically for cancer patients. Not just breast cancer, ANY kind. It's called "Look Good, Feel Better". And it's W O N D E R F U L.

(Look Good, Feel Better is available in every state, most cities, nationwide so if you have cancer, or know someone who has cancer, please tell them about this class. It's free and so is the goodie bag you get to take home!)

I attended the class in December and had a great time. I was invited back to the class last night to be interviewed and photographed for the April edition of "Journeys" magazine for Renown Hospital.

Alan and his group of volunteers do this class the third Wednesday of every month at Renown Hospital. It's from 6:00pm-8:00pm. The Rubicon Deli donates delicious sandwiches for those attending, which is a nice way to kick off a meeting. As we were eating the sandwiches Alan introduced himself and the other volunteers who are lovely ladies who work in his salon. (Shawna, Carrie, Katie) Then they handed out the bags of FREE cosmetics.

As a girl who LOVES makeup, hair, fingernails, etc, I absolutely loved opening that bag and sifting through the treasures. Cosmetic brushes from MAC, lip gloss and lip stick from Aveda and CHANEL. Mascara from Estee Lauder, Eye shadow from Clinique. It's some high-end stuff! Then they demonstrate how to apply all of it.

There is always a wide range of patients in the class. Some who have just been diagnosed, others who are finishing treatment, others who are have fought cancer before and are back due to a new diagnosis. But I'm tellin' ya, you get a group of women in one room, feed them, give them makeup they will bond all on their own and some great friendships were formed too. We ooo and aahhh at each other and point out how beautiful we all are even without hair.

And then they break out the wigs....and show different ways to tie the scarves and we eat some more and talk even more and bond some more. And wake up the next morning refreshed, knowing there are many more women out there fighting the same battle and we're all going to Look Good and Feel Better doing it!

Hair Again

This is the blog entry I was making notes about when I started having a reaction to the Taxol.

Hair is a fascinating thing.

It's really just dead cells growing together out the top of our heads. However, there are careers made just out of cutting, coloring, styling, perming, waving, braiding, extending, and tinseling it. My daughter pointed out there are entire aisles in stores dedicated to just washing it!...and whole schools just to learn how to cut it. And these graduates can make a decent living doing just that.

Hair has many uses. First to cover the top of our heads (most of us) but it can be used to camouflage a blemish, cover pointy, big or sticky-out ears (mine are pointy), you can look like a hot mess or a just a mess. It can help you flirt, with that hair toss. If you want to change your look, your hair is the first thing you change. Cut or color or style.

Your hair will help contour your face or help balance your head. Pick up any fashion magazine and there will be an article on how to wear your hair to compliment your face shape. Square jaw? Hair should be longer than your chin. Heart shaped face? Hair should end at your jaw line to balance the width of your forehead.

So when you start losing it from the results of chemotherapy it's a hard thing to take. For some reason most patients I spoke with hoped that they'd be the one whose hair DIDN'T fall out. Me included. It took a while but when it went, it WENT. And like my friend Kellie said, "It's easier to shave it, than to watch it fall out"

When I was little (4-8 years old) I wanted long, long hair. All the way down my back. It never grew that long. So I would take small baby blankets that have the corner capped off and put them on my head and pretend it was my "down hair". As Damon shaved the last of my hair off he said, "You can always wear that baby blanket for your down hair."

He can make me laugh at the worst moments!

Keep the Faith

I Could Write About This....or I Could Write About THAT.

I can't decide if I should do the blog entry I was working on when I started having a violent allergic reaction to the chemotherapy drug....or if I should write about having a violent allergic reaction to the chemotherapy drug.

Maybe both??

Which first?

Ok. The violent reaction to the chemotherapy drug.

It was a dark and stormy night...haha. Not really, it was kind of sunny, cool morning. And I was there for my fourth session. Or as my doctor pointed out, 1/3 of the way through! yeah!

I had received all my premeds (Zofran~for nausea, Pepcid~for reaction prevention and nausea, Benadryl~for reaction prevention, Dexamethasone~for reaction prevention and nausea, Tylenol~to prevent fever with the Herceptin) and then they started Taxol. This is the drug that kills all the fast growing cells in the body. But it can't tell the difference between cancer cells and healthy cells. This is why we experience T O T A L hair loss. (Yes, the chemical-induced-involuntary-Brazilian Wax) And intestinal problems and mouth sores...those are also fast growing cells.

If a patient is going to react to Taxol they "usually" (I love that word) have it during the first half hour (it's a 90 minute infusion) in the first two sessions. This was my FOURTH. They give a lot of saline during the infusion so I'm in the bathroom a lot. I decided to use the restroom then settle in with my lunch and watch a DVD on my little player while I received the Taxol.

While in the restroom I was washing my hands and had a fleeting thought, "Hmmm, I haven't reacted yet, so I must be ok" No sooner did I complete that thought that my chest started squeezing and I couldn't breathe. I grabbed the IV pole and walked out the door and told the first nurse I saw...well, signaled her really, that my chest was closing in. She immediately stopped the infusion and grabbed both my arms and practically threw me into my recliner. I started seeing stars. They put a pulse/ox indicator on my finger and in those few seconds my oxygen saturation dropped to 85%. They slapped oxygen on me.

By stopping the infusion they push saline to rinse. When I started reacting all the premeds kicked in and between the rinse and the premeds it took about 5-10 minutes for the symptoms to dissipate. All of this is through the tube that is hooked to the port in my chest.

About 30 seconds after I started having a hard time breathing, my lower back completely seized up. O M Y G O S H. They have a pain scale from 1-10. 1 being really no pain and 10 is the worst. This back pain was a 15. I had completely frozen up and any movement was excruciating. They put a blood pressure cuff on me and it was 168/118. Then the pain moved from my back into my hip joints and thighs. That's when I started crying. They don't give pain meds because stopping the infusion and starting the saline rinse stops the pain and reaction faster than anything additional they could have given me. One of the nurses who was helping sat on the floor and held my hand and I have to say that simple act of compassion helped calm me down faster than anything else.

As the pain finally began to go away I was able to sit back in the chair. I remembered that during the worst part of the reaction my little voice was telling me to listen to the nurses and not to panic. I would be fine, they know what to do. Just hang in there. And My Big Voice was saying "I WANT DAMON HERE!!!"

Finally after about half an hour I had settled down enough, the pain had gone away and I had stopped shaking. I reclined the chair and put my wonderful blanket that Lynette Guarino sent me for Christmas over me. The nurses called my doctor to find out what the next step was. They gave me another dose of dexamethasone (the steroid) which is why I'm up at 2 in the morning writing this, and then they restarted the Taxol at a very slow rate. I completed the the infusion without any more incidents.

Each nurse asked me a couple of times how many sessions I have had of Taxol. I kept telling them four. They'd shake their heads. I asked if it was usual to react like that on the fourth session. The answer was No. Well, of course! Nothing about this has been normal!

I'm grateful for the still,small voice that whispered I would be ok, just stay calm and listen to the nurses. I'm grateful for a nursing staff who acted so fast and with so much care and compassion. I'm grateful to Lynette for sending that wonderful blanket that was perfect for snuggling in to get warm again. I'm grateful to my husband for being 3 blocks away at his favorite Mexican restaurant eating the Friday lunch special so he shot right over to see me after this happened. (Los Compadres on 4th Street) I'm grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who has been right next to me through this whole thing.

Keep the Faith.

Q & A

I've had a lot of questions sent to me about the cancer and even some more personal ones about what I do. So I thought I'd answer some of those questions.

Q: How did you miss a tumor that big?

I didn't miss it. When I first felt it I was also having large boils and sores from a MRSA staph infection. It's all in the same area. On the left side, under my arm and into the chest. When it began to behave differently and when the pain from the lump got bad I showed it to my doctor (up until then I hadn't mentioned it~~ yes, I know, first mistake). He got the ball rolling immediately.

Q: What kind of cancer do you have?

I have Ductal Sarcoma in Situ. Which means the tumor is in the ducts and insitu means it hasn't spread. It's stage 3 because of the size of the tumor (10cm~think tennis ball) and the number of lymph nodes that are effected (more than 2 or 3). It's also Her2/Neu+ (Her Two New Positive) which means this tumor thrives on estrogen. So, one of the chemo drugs, Herceptin, is given to block the tumor from receiving any more estrogen. Between the Taxol and the Herceptin both the tumor and nodes have shrunk to less than half of what they were. In fact my left side looks almost normal again. And yes, I'll have to complete both sets of 12 weeks of chemo even though there has been so much shrinkage. It's stage 3, but they treat it as if it has spread.

Q: Who are all your doctors?

The doctor who moved things along and who treated the staph is Kevin Kiene. He's a skin cancer specialist and an amazing doctor. And let me say again, "AS SOON AS I FINALLY TOLD HIM ABOUT THE TUMOR HE REFERRED ME TO A SPECIALIST!!"

The surgeon who did the biopsy and implanted the Power Port is James Harris at Western Surgical. Very funny guy.

My oncologist (cancer doc) is Aaron Bowman. He's in with Reddy and Abrass. I get my chemotherapy infusion at the Renown Institute for Cancer. Damon thinks the name is wrong...it should be Institute AGAINST Cancer. ;-)

My cardiologist is Kosta Arger. He's also my Dad's heart doc. He's been great and very helpful. And I think that just about covers it.

The rest are family docs and dentists...but if you really want to know who they are.... John Childs is our dentist. His office is on Lakeside. Awesome dentist.

Oh and my Chiropractor is Tony Jensen. You know how people have gifts?? His is the gift of healing. And I'm not kidding.

Q: What is Access to Healthcare Network?

It is a discounted healthcare plan. It's not insurance. You can call 775-284-8989 and they will fill you in. For anyone who does not have insurance this plan is amazing.

Q: What do you do now?

I'm sort of assuming this question means what do I do for a living. I actually have two great positions. The first is as an Independent Distributor for SendOutCards. What is SendOutCards? It is a website where you select a greeting card (there are 15,000 to choose from) write your message and the actual card is printed and mailed for you through the US mail....with a stamp! If you'd like to send a couple cards for free just go to www.sendoutcards.com/1221 and click on "send a card". Be sure to check out the gifts and gift cards that can be included, too!

The other very part-time position is as an Assistant Director for BNI. BNI is Business Network International. It's the world's largest referral organization. Not only do I promote my own business in the chapter I belong to, I assist in growing a few of the 16 chapters in Northern Nevada. Chances are there's a chapter in your area. Go to www.bni.com and click on "Find a Chapter". We are a world wide organization.

We have an upcoming event in February that I'm very excited about. International Networking Week. It's Wednesday February 9, 2011. Jordan Adler, author of Beach Money, is our keynote speaker.

I hope I answered the few questions some of you had. If you have more, ask away!

But please...
Keep the Faith.

And here we go...

So yes, here we go. This is the first bunch of hair to come out and it did in the shower this morning. :-{

Like Roseann Almond told her mother, "We're prayin' for YOU, not your hair"

Keepin' the Faith

I'm a Yellow

Maybe you've heard of the book "The Color Code" by Taylor Hartman. It's a personality test that tells you what you are most often like. I'm a solid Yellow. Or maybe you're familiar with other personality analysis...I'd be a High I, or Sapphire.

I've always worked well with the Color Code. I laughed the first time I read about being yellow.

"Riding on the primary motive of fun, Yellows reflect the spirit of the wind and the life-giving miracle of fresh air. They are as essential to society as breathing is to the human existence. Yellows love life. They are spirited, exciting, and have an innate ability to be happy. They have a mental attitude that allows them to appreciate what they have, rather than being miserable about what they lack. Fate often appears to smile on them, and they are considered to be very lucky." ~ The Color Code page 113.

Some of the other traits:

-highly entertaining
-promotes fun family activities
-flows easily with negative experiences
-turns crisis into comedy
-concern themselves with the broad picture rather than the details.

And their philosophy is this: "Life's a party and they're hosting"

That's why I loved this next thing when I read it. It's from the January "Real Simple" Magazine page 60. It's a reader's contribution about Life Lessons...

"Celebrate Everything"
"Each time I walk into my apartment-even if I've been gone for less than a minute-my three dogs leap on me, kiss me, lick me, wag and bark and show me their chew toys. I find it inspiring. Life throws a lot of junk in your direction, so you might as well get your kicks when you can. Now I try to acknowledge every small-but-happy event. (my kids' half-birthdays, good doctor's visits, even when a mosquito bite stops itching) with at least a cheerful word or gesture. I believe that if dogs could speak, they'd say, "You should have a cupcake for that" That's a worldview I can get behind. ~ Julie Klam author of "You Had me at Woof"

I'm following one other blog from a breast cancer patient and it's titled "But Doctor...I hate pink!" Her entries are clearly those of a fellow yellow so I have really enjoyed reading them.

There's a scripture in the Book of Mormon that I have always enjoyed reading...
"Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."
It's a happy scripture, or should I say joyful?

I've used the Color Code so much that even our oldest son has applied the analysis to the people he meets in Mexico and the different Missionary Companions he's been assigned. He'll let us know what category they fall into and it says a lot about who they are. It's helped him communicate with those individuals in the way that works for them.

Even though I am a very optimistic person I've had my downer moments. After a particularly painful betrayal from a group of people I thought were my friends I had a two week long bout with depression that I never thought I'd come out of. I wondered who else could have experienced that kind of betrayal and my first thought was, "The Savior has" Who better to understand what that felt like? So I said some very heartfelt prayers and pretty soon found myself being lifted out of that depression. I've also learned through my life that any pain or suffering we may endure has already been felt by the Savior when He was in the Garden of Gethsemane. What He passed through there surpasses any suffering we may be called to endure in this life. This adds to my optimism.

As always,
Keep the Faith!

Weekly Check-up

The day before my chemotherapy treatment I have to see my oncologist to be cleared for the infusion. They do a vital signs check, take a blood test to see what my blood counts are and do a general Q&A.

Today was a good checkup day.

Doctor asked if I'd noticed any changes in the tumor area. I said, "Ya, it's less than half its size and I've only had two treatments!" He examined the area and confirmed that yes, that tumor is less than half the size and the lymph nodes have shrunk as well. (I didn't really need him to tell me it's smaller, I can CLEARLY tell that on my own) He said the largest lymph node was easily 6cm or larger and it's down to around 2cm now. That's a lot of shrinkage!

My blood counts are good. I was anemic last week, but not this week. (Thank you Leanna for the Juice Plus Complete Spinach Smoothie recipe!!)

8oz Coconut Water
1/2 cup frozen pineapple
1/2 banana (frozen or fresh)
1 scoop French Vanilla Juice Plus Complete
1 Tblsp Coconut Oil (medium chain fatty acid that doesn't require insulin to get into the cell---highly recommended)
2 handfuls fresh spinach leaves.
Blend until smooth.

Yes it's green, but it's delicious and gets me through the four hour infusion and I don't get hungry or weak.

A friend sent me a video of Katy Perry's "Firework". Great song...here's a few lyrics from it:

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

Cause baby you're a firework
C'mon show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go oh, oh, oh
And you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go oh oh oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down

Boom, Boom, Boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let in through.

Great song....great message!

Keep the Faith

Attitude is Everything!

I copied this from Hats2Cover.com
Too cute.



ATTITUDE:
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.'
So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror
and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.
'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.'
So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed
that she had only one hair on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.'
So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed
that there wasn't a single hair on her head.
'YAY!' she exclaimed. 'I don't have to fix my hair today!'

Attitude is everything.

My Life is Not the Pits

A few weeks ago I saw a gal who at one point was a friend of mine. Not so much anymore, and I have to wonder, if ever. Apparently she had heard about my breast cancer and her response to me was, "Boy your life is just the pits, isn't it?"

I had to suppress the initial flash of anger and think about a civil response. First of all, my life is not the pits. We've been through some serious trials in the last few years, BUT WHO HASN'T?!

My life is not better or worse than the next person. The problem with comments like that is I start to think of all the snappy come-backs that would have put her in her place. But that's really not my style. I could post a few of her "trials" on this page, but I'm taking the high road. Those of you who know her...well, you know what I mean.

Her comment did bring to mind a few things. As a religious person I go to the scriptures for strength in adversity. There are a lot of stories of people who struggled and how they got through. None more recognized than Job. I believe there is more to the story of Job than someone who suffered a lot and never lost faith. There is a lesson there to those who were his friends and family and associates to not judge. (Job Chapters 1-19)

Just because someone is going through SEVERE trials does not make them unrighteous or evil. Anymore than someone who has smooth sailing is a righteous individual. We are here to be tested. "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth." (Hebrews 12:6)

But going back to Job for just a moment. He did complain. He did wonder why he had to suffer so much, yet he never lost his Faith in God and in Chapter 19 he recounts all his trials yet still testifies of God.

Here is the thing about having an illness. If you aren't the person who is ill, you probably aren't receiving the inspiring thoughts and moments of spiritual awareness that let you know you're going to be ok. I know I'm eventually going to be ok, it's just going to stink for a while.

Is my life the pits? No. Not at all. I have a terrific husband who can make me laugh while I'm being wheeled off to surgery. I have Four of the best kids a mother could ever be blessed with. And when things got a little confusing and we didn't know what was going to happen, they dug in and ran the house while I rested.

For the most part I feel good. About the third day after treatment I'm a little cranky and flu-ish, but I hear that's pretty normal.

So if you have a friend who seems to be enduring some serious trials, try not to judge. Clearly the Lord loves them.

Keep the Faith

I Have a Confession to Make

I have a confession to make.

I'm not that sick. The chemotherapy has not effected me much. I know it's VERY early in the process. I've only had two sessions. But I keep getting emails from friends and family lamenting my situation. Really, I'm doing great.

New Year's Eve is a big deal in our house. Our two youngest boys have their birthdays that day. Yep. Eight years apart on New Year's Eve. Not only that, Christopher (13) was born the year Reno flooded with a 100 year type flood. Eight years later Ethan (5) was born on New Year's Eve the next time we had another 100 year flood. There's talk of Reno flooding again this year. I say "NO". I'm not pregnant....ain't gonna happen.

So by New Year's Day all of my children have officially advanced an age. Making them 20, 17, 13, and 5. And they are beautiful.

Back to the chemotherapy.
Now is about the time my hair should be falling out, right? It's curlier and bouncier than ever. I'm supposed to feel nauseas. Tch, ya. I felt slightly queasy about 3am of the second treament so I took a phenergan and went back to bed. Haven't needed one since. I'm a little more tired and I have experienced some tiny muscle fatigue....but when we went to the movie (Tangled) yesterday I climbed the stairs to the top of the theatre just fine.

Maybe it's too soon.

But I do have a theory.
Last May I started the McCombs Plan Candida Cleanse. (www.mccombsplan.com)
This is an eating program that cleans out your gut of any toxins and fungus. Then for 16 weeks you eat a diet of only fresh foods. Nothing processed, frozen or artificial. And guess what? It's F R E E. The only expense is the better groceries. And he does offer supplements to help clear out the gut. But they really aren't necessary.

Basically you eat all meats except pork, (pork carries viruses). All vegies. All fruits (except oranges they carry fungus). Eggs. Water. You can have coffee and tea. and the only grain is brown rice. It doesn't sound like much but it's A LOT of food. The "No" foods list is much longer. No sugar, wheat or any grain besides brown rice, sugar subs, dairy or dairy subs, vinegar, alcohol, soy sauce. No fruit juices or dried fruits, no nuts or legumes, nothing processed or frozen. Nothing that has a chance to ferment.

The idea behind this is that all the NO foods feed the candida. Candida loves sugar or anything processed or artifcial. From May until now I've followed the strictest first 8 weeks of the program....

And I TRULY feel that because of this the chemotherapy is able to do it's job more efficiently and that's why I feel so good and the tumor is shrinking so much. (I've also shrunk about 60 pounds)

Oh ya. Let me explain THAT.
(graphic description)
This tumor is the left breast. It was huge. 10cm (think tennis ball). I'm not that big chested so it was VERY noticeable. The nipple folded in on itself and it was starting to develop blisters and sores on the outside of the skin. It was easily a DD in cup size and I often popped out of my bra since it's only a C.

Yesterday as I put lotion on I noticed it was smaller. The fold isn't as deep, in fact it's almost gone. The sores have healed up. And I fit just fine in my C cup bra on both sides.

I've only had two doses of chemotherapy. I really feel that eating plan, all the prayers and good thoughts have made a huge difference.

So that's my confession.
Happy New Year!
Keep the Faith